Priorities

Misc–karmic mistakes?

Those who know me know that I’m regularly over-committed. I teach a lot; I’m on many committees; there are vague attempts at a social life. There are many doctors’ appointments.

Sometimes there are more things to do than others. The galleys came for the book this week, so that’s certainly something to do. And then there’s grading. And then there’s course prep. There’s a full in box, reviews to do, letters of recommendation to write.

There are my friends–one has an interview this week; two others have broken up with their partners in the last few days.

There’s mail to open, muddy kitty footprints to clean up, and a child to be relatively ignored by.

If I had the time, I have movies to watch, a DVR to clean off, and books to read.

It probably goes without saying that I have to eat, use the toilet, bathe, take vitamins and medications, wander from room to room, breathe, blink, and digest.

I haven’t mentioned sleep, but sleep is really only an elusive idea of something I should be doing rather than something that’s happening. I sometimes nod off, but then I awake again, sweating and with a sense of lead in my stomach, hanging there (to paraphrase Douglas Adams) in exactly the way bricks don’t.

I’m wandering in a state of near tears, from exhaustion and stress. Due to budget cuts, I have about a 50% chance of losing my job.

This makes all the other things on the list seem silly, since I should be applying for jobs 23 hours a day. I am applying, but I can’t turn my back on my teaching. After all, this is my calling and my current students shouldn’t suffer just because of this stress (although my sanity seems to be suffering quite a bit).

Any ideas welcome and appreciated.

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2 comments… add one
  • du Feb 27, 2010 Link

    Recommendation: Let your co-author do the work with the galleys. (Seriously. I’m proofreading as I insert items into the index). It’s all good. I found several places where “Tracey” was spelled wrong.

  • Edith Feb 28, 2010 Link

    Not to state the obvious, but it really sounds like you need a friend who can help you out for a little while with those little tasks that pile up, like cleaning or opening mail–just to make this period of time easier. If I lived there I would offer. I’m hoping someone there can lend a hand.

    A good massage and meditation both help so much with stress, if you can manage to find the time for them. But, that’s the catch. Time. Yikes.

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