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The Continuing Adventures of Karma’s Dating: Entry 77
Dec 25th, 2017 by Dr Karma

I hate having to go into my boyfriend’s office. Everywhere one looks, there are naked and nearly naked women–there are three pin-up calendars, signed posters from porn stars, etc.

One day, I had to give up when looking for scissors because I was way too distracted by how many pubic regions I could see from every angle of the room.

Now, I have some pictures of male stars on my computer (David Tennant saying “You Should be Writing,” for example), but they are clothed.

My boyfriend thinks I shouldn’t be upset about the walls of boobs because he knows all of these women and has slept with most of them.

Yes–you read that right.

He thinks it should bother me less that he has naked pictures of his exes in his office than just random naked women. (These are the only pictures of humans in the house–no friends or family.)

(And yes, he’s slept with a lot of models and porn stars.)

I don’t mind people having pictures of their exes. I have pictures of mine. They’re mixed in with the many, many pictures I have of friends and family around the house.

However, one can walk through my house without seeing any of their erect, throbbing penises.

Today, I’m trying a compromise. One of my boyfriend’s presents is two posters of me–one of his favorite picture of me, the other is KarmaZuul. Alas, I don’t have any naked ones, as I’m not a porn star or exotic dancer, though I’ve played them before. Am pretty sure Costco doesn’t want to make a giant poster of a naked me, either.

Readers, I’m gonna take over the wall.

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On Days and Diaries
Dec 17th, 2017 by Dr Karma

I used to be good at keeping a diary.
Now, unless I’m traveling, I almost never do–except here, for you, which is different. This is not just a space for me–there is an audience with needs, to whom I give background, for whom I try to be coherent.
Diaries unfortunately lost their appeal for me when I was married in my late teens.
My brief disastrous marriage had a lot of wrong in it–readers might remember that my ex liked my looks a lot, but not me–not my smarts, not my drive. He misrepresented himself, hoping that marriage (and his god) would change me.
What I haven’t written about as much is his jealousy. We had a bad dynamic. I wanted to be trusted, but he wasn’t capable of giving it. I had watched my mother date possessive man after possessive man (most of whom were cheating on her), so I hated that sense of being watched, being accused. My ex’s mom had been cheated on too–and thus he said he couldn’t trust people.
And so there we were.
Our marriage deteriorated very quickly, and I pulled away emotionally. And I wanted out. And that caused his jealousy to rise. And that caused me to pull away and to want out more. And so on.
And then he started reading my diary. He justified it by saying that married people didn’t need secrets from each other–they were one flesh and all. As soon as I realized that I couldn’t have privacy in my home, I stopped writing.
But he kept reading, going back in time.
I remember once coming home to find him upset and jealous over some guy I’d had a crush on when I was fourteen.
Him: Why didn’t you write about me like that?
Me: I was 14!
I lost everything I wrote when I was younger, so that it couldn’t be used to pressure me, to judge me, to guilt me.
I burned my diaries.

 

 

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The Continuing Adventures of Karma’s OnLine Dating: Entry Six
Aug 27th, 2015 by Dr Karma

Went back on OKCupid today. I got a poorly written message almost immediately. I checked out this guy’s profile (which indicated that he would not allow a girlfriend to be friends with exes and said he believed jealousy was “healthy in a relationship.”) Of course, if he read through all of my profile, he would have seen that I explicitly state that I’m friends with my exes (these facts come out in the questions you answer on this site), and that I’m not going to end my friendships.
I’m not going to comment on this exchange–it speaks for itself.
Me: Hi, [. . .]. I read through your profile and the answers to your questions. I don’t think we’d be a good match–you are very clear that you’re not okay with women being friends with their exes, but I am, and I don’t want to enter a relationship that has jealousy.
I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Him: Thanks for checking. Although I believe there is always something to give up for progress.
Me: That’s very true. Perhaps you should take your own advice and give up being jealous! Most people would consider that progress.

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