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The Continuing Adventures of Karma’s OnLine Dating: Entry 65
Jul 7th, 2017 by Dr Karma

Remember the homophobe who admitted he was one and then denied it and said he wasn’t interested any more since I was being so tiring by maintaining the consistent position of being not at all interested in him (entries 61 and 62)?

He wrote. Again.

Him: Why are we sometimes 79% match and some other time different than 79% ? I thought about what you said and you were right. I was new on the site and did not answer your questions correctly. It has been very time consuming and no results 🙁 Probably i am not good in this internet thing.

Me: I haven’t looked at your profile lately, so I don’t know if the numbers are changing.
If you changed some of your answers or answered more questions, then that would shift the number.
OKC might also be running an test.

Him: Thanks for your kind explanation.

Are you on line and drinking wine?

Me: I’m teaching in Oxford, UK this month. I’m eating breakfast and prepping for class.

And I’m not interested in chatting; this isn’t going anywhere.

Him: My apologies. Here is 4 days holidays and late at night. My mom saw your profile and thought you are the best 🙂 Sorry. Enjoy your trip and good luck in your class. I always felt you are high caliber intelligent person but not to this extent. Forgive my ignorance and wrong assumptions.

Two days later:

Him: so how did your class go? Would you share what was the subject or do you have any scripts of your lecture?I am just curious nothing more. I have a very strong personality and i am very independent and do not expect anything just curious 🙂

Part of the problem thus far is that I tend to answer people if they say more than “hi.” There’s this sense of politeness. But, again, I’m reminded of a fact I’ve written about before. In online dating, women are more often than not punished for being polite.

This post talks about what one man serially does to women. In the example cited at length, he claims he’ll leave the uninterested woman alone–if she engages–and quickly turns abusive when she doesn’t.

And what’s up with the mom comment?

Maybe he should let her read what he wrote to me, and then she can tell him why he’s now blocked.

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The Continuing Adventures of Karma’s OnLine Dating (Entry 34): I’m Blaming That Date-Raping Skunk
Mar 28th, 2016 by Dr Karma

1stI’m fairly certain that the men who message me grew up on Looney Tunes, as I did.

I’m now fairly certain that many of those men learned the wrong lessons, especially a lesson about taking no for an answer. In the world of Pepe Le Pew, no doesn’t exist. Penelope (the cat) makes her position clear. Pepe doesn’t listen. And sometimes, he wins.

I have a vivid memory of catching one of the cartoons as my son watched, years ago. Pepe chased Penelope. She was running for her life. She ran into a cave–an ice cave. The last shot of her showed her terrified face, reflected in the ice shards, as she realized she was trapped. Pepe rolled a boulder in front of the entrance and hung a “Do Not Disturb” sign.

The End.

2For a couple of days, I’ve been nicely explaining that I don’t want a long distance relationship. In fact, this is the only conversation I’ve had with the gentleman in question. He complimented me. I thanked him. He said he wanted to talk more. I said I didn’t want to pursue anything, since he was far away. We exchanged this information several more times–him saying he wanted to talk, me saying I didn’t. (I’m also inherently not interested–his profile is generic and he hasn’t really answered OKC’s questions). This is the end of the conversation:

Picture Pepe bouncing after me; a French accent may even help some of the grammar/writing problems:

Him: But I do you think I’m suppose to find that’s perfect woman, if not by getting so close with me woman that my spirit tells me much about. ​

Him: I don’t care about the distance, because I can’t get my eyes of you. ​

Him: You are a good looking woman, if you don’t really believe in long distance relationship, why don’t you give it a try.. And what about talking and texting you on phone? ​

[That last one confuses me, causing me to stumble. So because I’m pretty, I have to do something I don’t believe in? I pick myself up, keep running, calling this out.]

Me: I’ve done long distance before; it’s not what I want for my life. And I don’t want to spend all day talking and texting on the phone for a relationship I don’t want to pursue. […] Look–you don’t know anything about me, really. You just seem to be attracted to me based on my looks.

Him: Yea I know I don’t really know you, but I know it only takes a day to know someone and be close friends.. You are attracted to me by your looks yea.. And that makes you a woman and I’m proud saying you are attracted to me and I’m interested in you. I’m the the kind of in-person that likes meeting someone that is been attracted to me, and that who my spirit accept as a woman. My spirit tells me you are a good looking pretty woman. I follow what my spirit tells me, I just wish things will work out between us, I’m going to make you proud and you will never regret having an meeting me. I’m not ask you of that forcefully, take your and think about it. ​

[His spirit tells him what? And when did I say I was attracted to him?]

[I raise the mallet.] malletLe sigh.

 

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The Continuing Adventures of Karma’s OnLine Dating (Episode 18): What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate
Dec 28th, 2015 by Dr Karma

Yesterday, I was messaged by a man in the Bay Area. I was surprised by the message, since OKC said we had a 30% enemies factor (OKC calculates things based not only on my answers, but on the answers I say are acceptable for a partner, and on the importance I give such answers). He and I are “enemies” for a variety of reasons–he had several answers that indicated he’s the jealous type (like answering “yes” to “is jealousy healthy in a relationship?”); he said he’s looking for someone to have children with, that “marriage is a necessity when a couple loves each other,” that creation theory should be taught alongside evolution in science classes, etc.

I explained that we weren’t suited for each other. He tried to say that he didn’t actually believe any of those things I had objections to (he wasn’t the only guy with that defense yesterday–one guy said, “oh, the questions aren’t important”). He kept asking for my number, but I think we all know how I feel about offering up my number to some stranger.

I then explained that he is also too far away (he was offering to meet halfway–in Fairfield). (Yesterday was long distance day. This guy, a guy in Pittsburg, CA, a guy in Reno, NV, and a guy in Clearlake, CA all tried to convince me that distance is not a factor [when I get to decide what factors are in my own damn dating life!].)

We’ll pick up the conversation there:

Me: I admire your persistence, but I’m not interested in dating you. I don’t want a long distance boyfriend. I hope you find what you’re looking for!

Him: Good morning Is not long distance relationships You are the first real woman in here I really like that [sic]

Me: My profile is very clear about what I consider long distance–if I’m not willing to do the drive, then I’m not going to date you. . . . I answered your first message because I’m polite, and I answer everyone who leaves an actual message. In that first message, I indicated that I’m not interested in dating you. You’re making me regret my politeness; please take my no for an answer.

Him: Im open to talk about Politeness I have not negative think Ok let’s met in your town this week ? What day is with for you ? ​[sic]

Me: I have told you in every single message that I’m not interested in dating you. I’ve asked you very politely to take my no. I will not be answering any more messages from you.

Him:

  • 😢

 

 

Update: 12 days later, he wrote me again: “Good morning beautiful woman How are you today?”

Not sure if he’s hoping I’ve changed my mind or if he doesn’t remember that’s he’s tried and failed with me already.

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