The start of 2026 by the numbers

Dr Karma March 22, 2026

Chronic Pain, Food and Wine, Misc–karmic mistakes?, Travel

I feel like I’ve barely kept my head above water in these first 11 weeks of the year. Maybe looking at everything I did will explain something.

Family emergencies back home: 1

Panic attacks: so many

Getting invited to judge a bake off: 1

Being able to judge a bake off: 0

Classes taught: 4

Days Celebrated: 17 (Clean Your Desk Day; MLK Day; Betty White’s Birthday; Cary Grant’s Birthday; Pie Day; Pi Day; Half birthday; Valentine’s Day; Pizza Day; Drink Wine Day; Grammar Day; Absinthe Day; Proofreading Day; International Women’s Day; St. Urho’s Day; St. Patrick’s Day; Corn Dog Day)

Overseas conferences: 2

Oscar-nominated movies watched: 20 (of 34)

Oscar-nominated shorts watched: 10 (of 15)

New recipes tried: 8 (“Mom’s Portuguese Rice” from Food52; NYT’s Honey Garlic Shrimp; Chicken Piccata Meatballs; Kashmiri Paneer with Snap Peas and Tomatoes; Food and Wine Dumpling Soup; Cold Noodle Salad with Spicy Peanut Sauce; One-Pot Roman Chicken Cacciatore; NYT Hoisin Garlic Noodles)

First servings of Rasing Cane’s: 1

Discoveries that there aren’t just predatory journals, there are predatory conferences: 1

Rat presents from Thoth, left on the welcome mat: 3

Lizard presents from Thoth, left on the welcome mat: 1

Bird presents from Thoth, left on the welcome mat: 1

Thoth’s vet visits because something bit him on the face: 1

Vet techs who greeted me with “I know this appointment is about Thoth, but the last time you were here, with Anubis, you were about to go on a first date, and we’re all dying to know how it went.”

Neighbors who checked in on Thoth, after noticing something was wrong with his face, despite him having bitten her before in a moment of overstimulation: 1

Failures to go to Target, because 80 was closed: 1

Failures to go to my office, because there were no parking spaces open that were close enough for my bad back: 1

Days I couldn’t teach at all because of my back: 1

Health appointments: 27

Student doctors who said, as they put their hands on me: “Which side of your back…oh, never mind. It’s the right side that’s very angry!”

Suggestions that I get a device put in my back: 1

Hormone Replacement Therapies started: 1

Horrible toe infections that have finally cleared up, many weeks into the year: 1

After rubbing each other the wrong way, attempts to be nice by saying “it’s not you, it’s me,” only to have someone still get mad and say it was 100% me, duh: 1

(ER visits in late 2025 after he literally rubbed me the wrong way: 1. Times he reinjured me after: 2)

Workplace trainings: 4

Fights with insurance about meeting my OOPM last year: 2

Issues with insurance about the OOPM resolved: 0

Travel CPAPs bought: 1

Grey eyelashes found: 1

Upper Division Comp Exams overseen: 1

Cousins lost: 1

Catherine O’Haras lost: 1

Stand-up performances with the student comedy club: 2

Stand-up performances with my comedy seminar students: 1

Students who cheated with AI: lots

Accidental discoveries they’ll ring the bell for you if it’s your first time at Crickets, in Citrus Heights: 1

Cities visited: 3 (Toronto, Rome, Pompeii)

Ducks from students: 1

Handwritten letters from students: 1

A hand-drawn picture of my cats from students: 1

Times Nat Geo told me that, “believe it or not,” “glamour” is a Scots word, derived from “Grammar.” Ummm, that’s why it’s spelling/casting a spell.

Incorrect items sent from Amazon: 1

Me telling Amazon about that & returning the item I didn’t order: 1

Amazon telling me it wouldn’t accept my return, since it wasn’t the item I ordered: 1

Customer service chats to resolve this: 2

People I’ve had to block: 1

Movies: 30 (Sentimental Value; Train Dreams; One Battle After Another; If I Had Legs I’d Kick You; Weapons; Elio; Come See Me In The Good Light; The Perfect Neighbor; Indiscreet; Begonia; F1; Frankenstein; Hamnet; Marty Supreme; The Secret Agent; The Alabama Solution; Blue Moon; It Was Just an Accident; Butterfly; Forevergreen; The Girl Who Cried Pearls; Retirement Plan; All the Empty Rooms; The Devil is Busy; Jane Austen’s Period Drama; Two People Exchanging Saliva; Eleanor the Great; Oliver & Company (under duress); Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale)

Best pizzas discovered in Citrus Heights: 1 (Italian Brothers)

Books finished: 11

Discoveries that the back of one lampshade is completely covered in cat hair, because Anubis rubs against it when he gets up on my desk (which he knows he’s not supposed to do, but does at least six times every day anyway): 1

New handymen who were supposed to show up to check if we have black mold in the upstairs bathroom: 1

Handymen who showed up: 0

Live comedy attended: 2 (the student Valentine show & Janeane Garafolo)

Plays: 3 (The Importance of Being Earnest; The Colored Museum; The Sound Inside)

Offices I was supposed to be able to use again: 1

Offices with water damage, in a building that often has no working elevator, water, or heat/cooling: 1

Comedy shows I missed cause of my back: 1

Hangs with friends I missed due to my stupid body: 4

The Toronto Trip

Servings of Nandos, Okra, Salmon, Jerk Chicken, Lemon Meringue Pie, Prime Rib Roasts with a Yorkshire pudding, and a $12 iced tea, cause I was in an expensive part of town: 1 each

Servings of Lamb: 2

Visits to The Writers Room, a bar Atwood used to hang out in: 1

Other Atwood scholars charmed by The Monkey: 1

Atwood panels presented on: 2

Atwood social receptions hosted: 1

Women met who mentioned they wrote a children’s book about Gertrude Stein: 1

Weird responses by that woman to someone who asked, “That’s cool; how did you come to do that?”: 1 (“Well, I did research on Gertrude Stein to write the book.”)

Scholars met whose husband was being taken in by the manosphere: 1

Getting snowed on: 1

Overcharges by cabbies: 3 (uber/lyft is better because of that)

People who said I should just stay in Canada: many (“c’mon: one of us will marry you!”)

Events missed because of my stupid disabilities: 2

Directions in the Toronto underground walkway that made sense to me: 0

Figuring out I was confused because the directions never say helpful things like “go up one level”: 1

Times I got out of my hotel room late in the morning, to find my cleaner waiting & addressing me by name: 1

Signs saying that one bottle of water in the hotel room was free, but extras would be charged: 1

Free water bottles I got from my cleaning lady, who explained she did it because I was “beautiful”: 3

Canadian whiskies tried: 2

Canadian whiskies enjoyed: 0

The Rome Trip:

Letters from my doctor saying I can have a cane when I travel, because last time I was in Italy, an airport worker tried to take it away: 1

Discoveries that my ear surgery fixing my insufflation problem may have worn off: 1

Cathedrals & churches: 8 (including the ossuary and the catacombs)

Michaelangelo statues missed at one of the cathedrals: 1

Remains of Temples to Mithras: 1

(total visits to remains of Temples to Mithras worldwide): 2

Pizza servings: 6

Best pizzas: 2 (potato and sausage at Trieste & pizza bianca at Forno Campo de Fiori)

People who asked if I was pregnant: 2

Things I couldn’t do because of my stupid disabilities: 3

Times I walked into thai massage places and asked for treatment right away because my back was locking up so badly: 3

Ossuaries: 1

(Total ossuaries visited, world-wide: 3)

Times I chose my airport restaurant because of the star power: 1

Obelisks observed: 13

Times people informed me there were more Eyptian obelisks in Rome than in Cairo: 4

Obeslisk stolen 2500 years ago:

Earbuds and nightgowns lost: 1 each

Walking tours: 4, including a food walking tour

Drives along the Appian Way: 2

Walks across the Tiber: 1

Lunches at Gulio Tadolini’s sculpture workshop, where the sculptures are basically sitting at the table with you: 1

Lamb servings: 2

Lamb servings enjoyed: 0 (and I usually LOVE lamb!)

Dinners where Cesar was murdered: 1

Times I reached back to touch the super old column, from Cesar’s time, behind a velvet rope, when they seated me an inch in front of it: 1

Me, in front of the column:

Toes with blisters, even though I wore tennis shoes every day: 7

Total blisters: 10, cause 1 toe had two, and I had blisters on the bottom of my feet too.

Museum exhibits of Egyptian artifacts: 1

Other sights: The Colosseum, including a special tour of the underground, The Roman Forum, The Domus Aurea, San Clemente, The Pantheon

Minutes it took me to leave the Roman Forum once I wanted to: 30

Uber drivers who wouldn’t come to where I was and wanted me to walk to them but gave me terrible directions and then we gave up but then they tried to charge me for the ride: 1

Cab driver fights about whose cab I should be getting into: 1

Supplis tried: 2

Supplis that were a gift from the restaurant owner, after we had a long talk about the US and safety for people traveling there: 1

Supplis enjoyed: 1 (below: the pizzas and the wonderful complimentary suppli from Trieste)

Gelato flavors: 5 (vanilla with fresh berries; hazelnut; vanilla lemon; pistachio; lemon custard)

Cacio de Pepes: 1

Pasta Amatricianas: 2 (one was divine)

Wines tried at L’Angelo Divino: 3

Relatives who were texting me nonstop while I was trying wine at L’Angelo Divino, to tell me about an argument they’d just had with each other: 2

Italian cats who let me pet them: 3

Servings of lemoncello: 2

Hooks in bathroom stalls to hang purses/coats: 0

Personalized recommendations on where to eat in Rome, from the Secret Breakfast guy, Piero: many

Places I was able to go that Piero recommended: 3

Espressos: 5 (two were doubles)

(# of coffees usually consumed in 1 week: 0)

Roman-style artichokes tried: 1 (yum)

Jewish-style artichokes I wanted to try: 1

Jewish-style artichokes I was able to try: 0

Porchetta sandwiches (street food) the guidebook said would change my life: 1

Misunderstandings because I thought they were undercharging me for the hearty sandwich, freshly cut from the porchetta roast, along with a glass of wine (8 euros): 1

Scarves needed: 0

Scarves bought from a street market: 2

Excessively flirty waiters: 1

Times I was really grateful for a flirty waiter, because that’s just what I needed: 1

Snooty waiters: 2

Americans who sat beside me and talked about traveling and made me cringe: 2 (“I’m judging each place in Rome by their mojitos”; “I mean, how was I supposed to know what gumbo was [on the flight here]? So of course I said I wouldn’t have anything for dinner.”)

Times I went back to a fried fish restaurant, after tasting their fish during the walking tour, and ordering a piece of fish, with the white wine, and getting a good piece, but then ordering another piece, with the red wine, and getting a really good-sized piece, and no one in the restaurant spoke English, and it was so yummy, and when I went to pay, I saw two Simpsons pictures, so I knew this was a favorite place in Rome: 1

Roman tour guides who seemed surprised when tourists didn’t know who a couple of famous architects who hated each other were: 2

Conference dinners: 1

Conference dinners that ended weirdly, as one scholar’s husband decided he needed advice about his son, who had recently come out, from the other man at our table: 1

Talks given: 1

Wineries: 1 (5 wines & a grappa tried)

Trips to Pompeii: 1

Weirdest thing I overheard (from a fellow American): “With the name “Pompeii,” you think it’s going to be all Indians. It’s blowing my mind that this is all Roman.”

Chef’s table meals at Rimessa FAB (food, ass, books): 1. There were seven courses, with six wines, a cocktail, and an aperitif: cheeses; meats; French onion soup; the chef’s grandmother’s baked crepes with cauliflower sauce and sage oil; white ragu (chicken, turkey, pork); pigeon with baked artichokes in a dark gravy (which was my favorite course: I wanted to lick the bones); chocolate cake with apricot jam and unsweetened cream.

Crushes I have on the chef at Rimessa FAB: 1, and it’s very powerful. How could I not fantasize about an incredibly sexy woman who served me her grandmother’s crepe recipe and delicate birds and geeked out with me about sauces and wine?

Pigeon:

First french onion soups I ever enjoyed: 1

Weird realizations that Eataly also exists in Rome: 1

Sad realizations that I couldn’t take my favorite sausage home: 1

Tours total: 7

Pasta and gnocchi servings total: 8

Deli-made pastas brought home: 2

Realizations that although Eddie Izzard joked that “There should have been an Emperor Fabulous,” there was in fact an painter/designer who worked for Nero named “Fabullus.”

The Colosseum (also pictured: a scarf I didn’t need):

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My insurance has no idea who my PCP is

Dr Karma April 12, 2025

Chronic Pain

A couple of years ago, when my PCP (A) took a leave of absence, Doctor B was listed as my PCP. I never saw him.

I changed to Doctor C when Doctor A retired.

All insurance cards keep coming with Doctor B’s name on it.

This week, my insurance company sent me a letter that my insurance card didn’t have the right doctor’s name on it. You have Doctor D, it said, but her name is actually E.

I went into the insurance portal today, which claims I have never selected a PCP.

2 comments

Today’s Mortification

Dr Karma August 11, 2024

Chronic Pain

This morning, I was honored to be on a remote panel for World Con.

I logged in and went to the space where you check your camera and mic. I adjusted the lighting, talked to the cats, and then admonished myself: “You haven’t had diarrhea for a couple of days, so of course you’re going to do it this morning.”

I went to the bathroom, took some anti-diarrheal medicine, came back and hit “join.”

Only then could I see a private message sent from the poor tech person responsible for our panel:

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This Week

Dr Karma May 4, 2024

Chronic Pain, Teaching

A week ago, my husband made me go to the ER, due to an injury. They noticed a growth while examining me, and said I need a biopsy (which will happen Tuesday).

I was in so much pain on Monday that I couldn’t really walk, but held my three classes and my office hours over Zoom.

I’ve also been juggling appointments (my primary, my therapist, my allergist, my chiropractor, since I woke up yesterday unable to move my neck).

Getting a med I needed took four not-quick phone calls and two visits to pharmacies.

This is all on the heels of weeks and weeks of extraordinary stress about work, family health issues, and family conflict.

This has definitely made me less sympathetic to a student’s proposal that college instructors should allow students to miss 2-3 classes per term so the students can sleep in.

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Too stressed to think of a good title

Dr Karma February 15, 2024

Chronic Pain, Teaching

Two stressors have risen in awful prominence lately.

First, health. (Warning: this is gross.) Several weeks ago, my gastro doc asked me to do a cleanse, to determine if I have IBS-C (her guess) or IBS-D (my guess). It’s D. It’s so D. Now, after the cleanse, my diarrhea is so much worse, both in frequency and, grossly, consistency. I have to carry wipes with me to the bathroom, if I hope to be able to put clothes back on after I go.

Naturally, the clean up takes a while, and at work, the lights (on timers), turn off before I’m done.

Yesterday I was dealing with that, and then when I went to bed, I turned my head and my neck went out. It was extremely painful: I couldn’t control my tears, in addition to not being able to move my head. Hubby had to lift me up so I could take medication; the lifting made me scream.

It was the third time in the last five weeks that my neck has done that.

So I’m exhausted, and I’m worried, and all of this is exacerbated by my other big stressor:

Work.

The university is up to something. All UWP lecturers are being moved to the Writing Center, we’re told. The profs in my department heard the news at the same time.

This decision, about how writing will be taught, was made without input from a single writing instructor.

It has also been made without the larger senate being notified. It really seems like having most of the courses in a department being taught by people outside the department, not to mention gutting a department that serves all undergraduates, would be something the senate should have to vote on, right?

(It’s not the first time campus-wide decisions about writing instruction have been announced to us without us being given any advanced notice, the opportunity to advise, or without the senate being informed.)

The university is not being forthcoming about what this change means. In fact, they often claim they can’t answer our questions because we have a union, which is 100% bullshit.

Then, this afternoon, my husband told me he met an app developer who has a couple of employees who have also been hired by UC Davis to create an app to grade essays (we would upload our rubric and some general comments and the AI would do all the grading). The developer said grading would take seconds and that it’s obvious the university would need fewer writing teachers.

Of course, writing teachers know that’s not how grading works. Even those teachers who grade with a points-based rubric, instead of holistically, like many of us do, could never trust AI and some impersonal comments to do the work.

AI isn’t smart enough yet. I can’t think of a single writing assignment I have that could be responded to in that way.

My doctors would like me to have less stress, but just writing this out has made my neck tighter. I’m really worried about my health, and I’m really worried about my job. And I live in a country where my healthcare is dependent on my job.

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IBSing at Work

Dr Karma January 17, 2024

Chronic Pain

A not insignificant reason why it’s easier to have IBS when working from home:

At work, I have to remember to take my phone into the bathroom with me, for its flashlight function. UCD’s bathroom lights are motion operated, but only counts motions outside the stall.

When I have terrible diarrhea, as I do today, it’s not fun to find myself in a completely dark bathroom.

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A little xmas frustration

Dr Karma December 18, 2023

Chronic Pain

I finally got my grading done on Friday. Saturday, I did a lot of cooking and cleaning, and yesterday, I took my beloved to a play in SF.

I couldn’t get to sleep last night, though, because my brain kept telling me everything I needed to do over break: mostly the usual (prepping for my Winter courses, editing the Atwood journal). I also have to do a lot of prep for my new Oxford summer course.

After not getting enough sleep, I got up and went straight to the computer and got to work. I was only an hour in, though, before my back seized up.

To add insult to injury, it was the second time in the last month that I’ve humiliatingly had it freak out when I was getting off the toilet.

So now I’m trying to at least send out some emails, heavily-medicated emails.

I’m also trying to enforce my rule that I’m not even allowed to do that if Snowball wants on my lap.

Despite everything, I’m trying to be grateful. I already had a chiropractor appointment scheduled for later this afternoon, and Jeff can take me to it. My fridge is stocked with lots of lovely things I cooked on Saturday. There are homemade cookies, and my tree, whose name is Matilda, is beautiful.

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A Very Derry Halloween

Dr Karma October 31, 2023

Chronic Pain, Travel

I am not going to see it in all its glory, but I’m at the Halloween capitol of Europe.

(Death with a King keyring, in honor of my 6th GG, Thomas M. King, born in Derry on 8 April 1695, who emigrated to the Pennsylvania colony)

I got to Derry on Saturday, after securing what was likely the last room in the city (though it’s across the river, in “Waterside”).

The Derry Halloween festival was running all weekend. The city is decked out, but I have to say I felt out of place being dressed for the season Sunday: only the kids were done up that day.

My festive wardrobe was more appreciated at the conference yesterday, where I gave my paper on Juan of the Dead.

Today, I’m just in my low-key Gaiman’s death get up, sadly, when some of the other adults in town have decided to join in.

My body just isn’t up to more. My IBS has been wrecking its havoc, I had to use my cane a bit already, and I’m definitely coming down with something.

After grading this morning, I managed to go out and get something to eat and hit a store for some provisions in case I can’t leave my room tomorrow: storm’s a-coming!

(What?)

A storm WITH A NAME is coming!

(Like a hurricane?!?)

Yup! Exactly like a hurricane. And since it’s a UK hurricane, it has a name I’m not sure how to pronounce: Ciarán.

The storm is a “danger to life” to Southern England–we’ve got an amber warning here, which means flooding (not a kidnapped child, like in the US).

I couldn’t find a gif of this, but here’s the video of Meryl Streep warning about a storm in Only Murders in the Building.

So: difficulty walking + no cabs at all because of the crowds + cold weather + my cold + my lungs still not bouncing back after COVID + cold weather- and cold-induced asthma + an upset stomach + a typhoon or whatever = me not being out in all the festivities tonight.

(a totally normal decoration to have on a bridge)

All I want are hot toddies and bed, but getting my hands on whiskey at a store has been surprisingly difficult (WTF, Derry?1?!). Thank goodness there’s a pub next door.

Happy Halloween!

(Death with a scarf from Vanessa & a glass of verdejo)

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A Little Health Update

Dr Karma April 22, 2023

Chronic Pain

I have a lot of things to update my two readers on. In fact, there’s so much it’s what’s kept me from updating in a while.

I can’t do it all now, but here’s the health stuff.

For this, just know that my back and neck and head are still awful.

My gut is SO much worse.

Before the pandemic, I was used to chronic diarrhea, and I was managing it. For some reason, during the pandemic, I swung the other way.

Since I’ve been back to teaching in person, I’ve swung back. However, I’m not managing it well now. Before, I could be okay on half an immodium a day. I would wake up in time to eat, get a sense of my gut, and see if I needed the half a pill before heading to class.

Current status: I almost didn’t make it to the bathroom after class a few weeks ago, and about two times a week, I’m crippled by my IBS. Along with the diarrhea comes cramping that leaves me whimpering on the floor. I have to take up to three immodium to make it stop, which means I don’t go at all for two days after. Then, it’s back to a system in overdrive.

All my docs have been able to confirm so far is that I indeed have IBS.

In other, more hopeful, news, I’m having a little surgery on Monday to try to fix my ear problems. Unlike most people, I can’t pop my ears. Any change in elevation, in a car or plane, hurts.

I’ve managed to convince my team to use a smaller than normal breathing tube during the procedure, since I have an obstructed airway, and a nausea patch, since my last surgery recovery went so badly.

I haven’t, however, gotten them to agree to catheterize me. They think they don’t have to, since the procedure is short, but the last two times docs have thought that, I’ve woken up covered in my own piss. I’m thinking it’s because I only ever truly relax when a doctor puts me under.

Fingers crossed that they listen to me this time.

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Dublin, Here I Come!

Dr Karma September 18, 2022

Chronic Pain, Travel

I leave for Dublin on Tuesday.

Not surprisingly, I’m losing my mind.

In the past, when I’ve gone abroad for a while, I’ve packed just one big suitcase to check & then end up having to buy another bag to come back with me. This year, I’m skipping that step. My checked luggage will include a big suitcase and a duffle (how else could I actually pack warm clothes?), but I will have some room for what I buy there, after taking all the supplements and eating all the grits that are coming with me.

In the midst of all the panicking and packing, I’ve been googling my future neighborhood. There’s a Nandos just a five-minute walk away, so I may not be able to lose weight this Winter.

My greatest challenge right now is that my insurance told the pharmacy that I couldn’t have a 90-day supply of my medications. I spent several hours on the phone the other day, resulting in a request for an emergency authorization. We’ll know tomorrow how that went.

If they don’t approve it, I will have to pay out of pocket for two months and then fight them for reimbursement when I get back. Without insurance, it will be over 700$ to take the meds I need.

This has been your reminder that American healthcare is mean and dumb.

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