I feel like I’ve barely kept my head above water in these first 11 weeks of the year. Maybe looking at everything I did will explain something.

Family emergencies back home: 1

Panic attacks: so many

Getting invited to judge a bake off: 1

Being able to judge a bake off: 0

Classes taught: 4

Days Celebrated: 17 (Clean Your Desk Day; MLK Day; Betty White’s Birthday; Cary Grant’s Birthday; Pie Day; Pi Day; Half birthday; Valentine’s Day; Pizza Day; Drink Wine Day; Grammar Day; Absinthe Day; Proofreading Day; International Women’s Day; St. Urho’s Day; St. Patrick’s Day; Corn Dog Day)

Overseas conferences: 2

Oscar-nominated movies watched: 20 (of 34)

Oscar-nominated shorts watched: 10 (of 15)

New recipes tried: 8 (“Mom’s Portuguese Rice” from Food52; NYT’s Honey Garlic Shrimp; Chicken Piccata Meatballs; Kashmiri Paneer with Snap Peas and Tomatoes; Food and Wine Dumpling Soup; Cold Noodle Salad with Spicy Peanut Sauce; One-Pot Roman Chicken Cacciatore; NYT Hoisin Garlic Noodles)

First servings of Rasing Cane’s: 1

Discoveries that there aren’t just predatory journals, there are predatory conferences: 1

Rat presents from Thoth, left on the welcome mat: 3

Lizard presents from Thoth, left on the welcome mat: 1

Bird presents from Thoth, left on the welcome mat: 1

Thoth’s vet visits because something bit him on the face: 1

Vet techs who greeted me with “I know this appointment is about Thoth, but the last time you were here, with Anubis, you were about to go on a first date, and we’re all dying to know how it went.”

Neighbors who checked in on Thoth, after noticing something was wrong with his face, despite him having bitten her before in a moment of overstimulation: 1

Failures to go to Target, because 80 was closed: 1

Failures to go to my office, because there were no parking spaces open that were close enough for my bad back: 1

Days I couldn’t teach at all because of my back: 1

Health appointments: 27

Student doctors who said, as they put their hands on me: “Which side of your back…oh, never mind. It’s the right side that’s very angry!”

Suggestions that I get a device put in my back: 1

Hormone Replacement Therapies started: 1

Horrible toe infections that have finally cleared up, many weeks into the year: 1

After rubbing each other the wrong way, attempts to be nice by saying “it’s not you, it’s me,” only to have someone still get mad and say it was 100% me, duh: 1

(ER visits in late 2025 after he literally rubbed me the wrong way: 1. Times he reinjured me after: 2)

Workplace trainings: 4

Fights with insurance about meeting my OOPM last year: 2

Issues with insurance about the OOPM resolved: 0

Travel CPAPs bought: 1

Grey eyelashes found: 1

Upper Division Comp Exams overseen: 1

Cousins lost: 1

Catherine O’Haras lost: 1

Stand-up performances with the student comedy club: 2

Stand-up performances with my comedy seminar students: 1

Students who cheated with AI: lots

Accidental discoveries they’ll ring the bell for you if it’s your first time at Crickets, in Citrus Heights: 1

Cities visited: 3 (Toronto, Rome, Pompeii)

Ducks from students: 1

Handwritten letters from students: 1

A hand-drawn picture of my cats from students: 1

Times Nat Geo told me that, “believe it or not,” “glamour” is a Scots word, derived from “Grammar.” Ummm, that’s why it’s spelling/casting a spell.

Incorrect items sent from Amazon: 1

Me telling Amazon about that & returning the item I didn’t order: 1

Amazon telling me it wouldn’t accept my return, since it wasn’t the item I ordered: 1

Customer service chats to resolve this: 2

People I’ve had to block: 1

Movies: 30 (Sentimental Value; Train Dreams; One Battle After Another; If I Had Legs I’d Kick You; Weapons; Elio; Come See Me In The Good Light; The Perfect Neighbor; Indiscreet; Begonia; F1; Frankenstein; Hamnet; Marty Supreme; The Secret Agent; The Alabama Solution; Blue Moon; It Was Just an Accident; Butterfly; Forevergreen; The Girl Who Cried Pearls; Retirement Plan; All the Empty Rooms; The Devil is Busy; Jane Austen’s Period Drama; Two People Exchanging Saliva; Eleanor the Great; Oliver & Company (under duress); Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale)

Best pizzas discovered in Citrus Heights: 1 (Italian Brothers)

Books finished: 11

Discoveries that the back of one lampshade is completely covered in cat hair, because Anubis rubs against it when he gets up on my desk (which he knows he’s not supposed to do, but does at least six times every day anyway): 1

New handymen who were supposed to show up to check if we have black mold in the upstairs bathroom: 1

Handymen who showed up: 0

Live comedy attended: 2 (the student Valentine show & Janeane Garafolo)

Plays: 3 (The Importance of Being Earnest; The Colored Museum; The Sound Inside)

Offices I was supposed to be able to use again: 1

Offices with water damage, in a building that often has no working elevator, water, or heat/cooling: 1

Comedy shows I missed cause of my back: 1

Hangs with friends I missed due to my stupid body: 4

The Toronto Trip

Servings of Nandos, Okra, Salmon, Jerk Chicken, Lemon Meringue Pie, Prime Rib Roasts with a Yorkshire pudding, and a $12 iced tea, cause I was in an expensive part of town: 1 each

Servings of Lamb: 2

Visits to The Writers Room, a bar Atwood used to hang out in: 1

Other Atwood scholars charmed by The Monkey: 1

Atwood panels presented on: 2

Atwood social receptions hosted: 1

Women met who mentioned they wrote a children’s book about Gertrude Stein: 1

Weird responses by that woman to someone who asked, “That’s cool; how did you come to do that?”: 1 (“Well, I did research on Gertrude Stein to write the book.”)

Scholars met whose husband was being taken in by the manosphere: 1

Getting snowed on: 1

Overcharges by cabbies: 3 (uber/lyft is better because of that)

People who said I should just stay in Canada: many (“c’mon: one of us will marry you!”)

Events missed because of my stupid disabilities: 2

Directions in the Toronto underground walkway that made sense to me: 0

Figuring out I was confused because the directions never say helpful things like “go up one level”: 1

Times I got out of my hotel room late in the morning, to find my cleaner waiting & addressing me by name: 1

Signs saying that one bottle of water in the hotel room was free, but extras would be charged: 1

Free water bottles I got from my cleaning lady, who explained she did it because I was “beautiful”: 3

Canadian whiskies tried: 2

Canadian whiskies enjoyed: 0

The Rome Trip:

Letters from my doctor saying I can have a cane when I travel, because last time I was in Italy, an airport worker tried to take it away: 1

Discoveries that my ear surgery fixing my insufflation problem may have worn off: 1

Cathedrals & churches: 8 (including the ossuary and the catacombs)

Michaelangelo statues missed at one of the cathedrals: 1

Remains of Temples to Mithras: 1

(total visits to remains of Temples to Mithras worldwide): 2

Pizza servings: 6

Best pizzas: 2 (potato and sausage at Trieste & pizza bianca at Forno Campo de Fiori)

People who asked if I was pregnant: 2

Things I couldn’t do because of my stupid disabilities: 3

Times I walked into thai massage places and asked for treatment right away because my back was locking up so badly: 3

Ossuaries: 1

(Total ossuaries visited, world-wide: 3)

Times I chose my airport restaurant because of the star power: 1

Obelisks observed: 13

Times people informed me there were more Eyptian obelisks in Rome than in Cairo: 4

Obeslisk stolen 2500 years ago:

Earbuds and nightgowns lost: 1 each

Walking tours: 4, including a food walking tour

Drives along the Appian Way: 2

Walks across the Tiber: 1

Lunches at Gulio Tadolini’s sculpture workshop, where the sculptures are basically sitting at the table with you: 1

Lamb servings: 2

Lamb servings enjoyed: 0 (and I usually LOVE lamb!)

Dinners where Cesar was murdered: 1

Times I reached back to touch the super old column, from Cesar’s time, behind a velvet rope, when they seated me an inch in front of it: 1

Me, in front of the column:

Toes with blisters, even though I wore tennis shoes every day: 7

Total blisters: 10, cause 1 toe had two, and I had blisters on the bottom of my feet too.

Museum exhibits of Egyptian artifacts: 1

Other sights: The Colosseum, including a special tour of the underground, The Roman Forum, The Domus Aurea, San Clemente, The Pantheon

Minutes it took me to leave the Roman Forum once I wanted to: 30

Uber drivers who wouldn’t come to where I was and wanted me to walk to them but gave me terrible directions and then we gave up but then they tried to charge me for the ride: 1

Cab driver fights about whose cab I should be getting into: 1

Supplis tried: 2

Supplis that were a gift from the restaurant owner, after we had a long talk about the US and safety for people traveling there: 1

Supplis enjoyed: 1 (below: the pizzas and the wonderful complimentary suppli from Trieste)

Gelato flavors: 5 (vanilla with fresh berries; hazelnut; vanilla lemon; pistachio; lemon custard)

Cacio de Pepes: 1

Pasta Amatricianas: 2 (one was divine)

Wines tried at L’Angelo Divino: 3

Relatives who were texting me nonstop while I was trying wine at L’Angelo Divino, to tell me about an argument they’d just had with each other: 2

Italian cats who let me pet them: 3

Servings of lemoncello: 2

Hooks in bathroom stalls to hang purses/coats: 0

Personalized recommendations on where to eat in Rome, from the Secret Breakfast guy, Piero: many

Places I was able to go that Piero recommended: 3

Espressos: 5 (two were doubles)

(# of coffees usually consumed in 1 week: 0)

Roman-style artichokes tried: 1 (yum)

Jewish-style artichokes I wanted to try: 1

Jewish-style artichokes I was able to try: 0

Porchetta sandwiches (street food) the guidebook said would change my life: 1

Misunderstandings because I thought they were undercharging me for the hearty sandwich, freshly cut from the porchetta roast, along with a glass of wine (8 euros): 1

Scarves needed: 0

Scarves bought from a street market: 2

Excessively flirty waiters: 1

Times I was really grateful for a flirty waiter, because that’s just what I needed: 1

Snooty waiters: 2

Americans who sat beside me and talked about traveling and made me cringe: 2 (“I’m judging each place in Rome by their mojitos”; “I mean, how was I supposed to know what gumbo was [on the flight here]? So of course I said I wouldn’t have anything for dinner.”)

Times I went back to a fried fish restaurant, after tasting their fish during the walking tour, and ordering a piece of fish, with the white wine, and getting a good piece, but then ordering another piece, with the red wine, and getting a really good-sized piece, and no one in the restaurant spoke English, and it was so yummy, and when I went to pay, I saw two Simpsons pictures, so I knew this was a favorite place in Rome: 1

Roman tour guides who seemed surprised when tourists didn’t know who a couple of famous architects who hated each other were: 2

Conference dinners: 1

Conference dinners that ended weirdly, as one scholar’s husband decided he needed advice about his son, who had recently come out, from the other man at our table: 1

Talks given: 1

Wineries: 1 (5 wines & a grappa tried)

Trips to Pompeii: 1

Weirdest thing I overheard (from a fellow American): “With the name “Pompeii,” you think it’s going to be all Indians. It’s blowing my mind that this is all Roman.”

Chef’s table meals at Rimessa FAB (food, ass, books): 1. There were seven courses, with six wines, a cocktail, and an aperitif: cheeses; meats; French onion soup; the chef’s grandmother’s baked crepes with cauliflower sauce and sage oil; white ragu (chicken, turkey, pork); pigeon with baked artichokes in a dark gravy (which was my favorite course: I wanted to lick the bones); chocolate cake with apricot jam and unsweetened cream.

Crushes I have on the chef at Rimessa FAB: 1, and it’s very powerful. How could I not fantasize about an incredibly sexy woman who served me her grandmother’s crepe recipe and delicate birds and geeked out with me about sauces and wine?

Pigeon:

First french onion soups I ever enjoyed: 1

Weird realizations that Eataly also exists in Rome: 1

Sad realizations that I couldn’t take my favorite sausage home: 1

Tours total: 7

Pasta and gnocchi servings total: 8

Deli-made pastas brought home: 2

Realizations that although Eddie Izzard joked that “There should have been an Emperor Fabulous,” there was in fact an painter/designer who worked for Nero named “Fabullus.”

The Colosseum (also pictured: a scarf I didn’t need):

I didn’t get November’s list out, so this is Nov & Dec, with some overall updates

New Nieces: 1

Divorces accomplished: 0

Times I told the ex he had to do some paperwork the lawyer sent him: many

Times he recently texted to ask when our divorce would be final, despite having done no paperwork: 1

Times he then told the lawyer he couldn’t do the paperwork at all: 1

Times the lawyer said that would end up screwing me over completely, because I would have to liquidate everything I have and give half of everything to the ex: 1

Exes who have decided he should do a little paperwork: 1

Realizations that I should have left him the second he threw my fried okra away at this time last year: 1

Book events attended: 3

New Dolly Parton pans: 1

Plays: (Dec): 1 (a Christmas Panto)

Total plays: 22

Last meals from Ding How (it’s closing): 1

Tiki Bars visited: 1

Weeks this year I didn’t have a working washing machine: 6

Times my landlord’s “handy”man installed a new drip pan incorrectly and then put the washer back in incorrectly and the bathroom flooded and water came down on my desk and Dante burned themself trying to figure out why the dryer was smoking and then the “handy”man had an insane reason why it wasn’t his fault: 1

Catch ups with friends (Nov): 5 (not counting catch ups with people who are more than friends)

Catch ups with friends (Dec): 4 (not counting catch ups with people who are more than friends)

Times I won Christmas by making what someone had described as the worst possible sandwich and wrapping it up as a present: 1 (mayo and sweet relish with lavender on dutch crunch bread (with the dutch crunch top as top, bottom, and sides))

Taste Panels at the Mondavi Center (Nov): 6

Taste Panels at the Mondavi Center (Dec): 1

Total Taste Panels: 11

Completely awful open enrollment, with a coding error necessitating many calls, tears, and assorted bullshit: 1

Courses taught: 13

Days Celebrated (Nov): 9 (Deviled Egg Day; Sandwich Day; Vanilla Cupcake Day; Sesame Street’s Anniversary; Chicken Lady Day (though mine was a Kids in the Hall-centric one); Candy Day; Doctor Who Day; Margaret Atwood’s birthday, which is the same day as the Pepper Spray Anniversary; Thanksgiving)

Days Celebrated (Dec): 7 (Finnish Independence Day; Cocoa Day; Bacon Day; Christmas Eve; Christmas/Life Day; Eggnog Day; Champagne Day)

Health appts (Nov): 15

Ingrown toenail surgeries that happened in Nov and went fine until a couple of weeks ago when my toe started bleeding again and is still bleeding now, as I type this: 1

Days I scared myself in the mirror when I woke up with a hematoma in my eye: 1

Times I was convinced the hematoma was caused by rolling my eyes too hard at the unceasing MAGA nonsense: all

Health appts (Dec): 12

ER appointments total: 1

ER appointments for insanely embarrassing reasons: 1

Refunds I’ve been able to successfully obtain for Jimmy Carr’s show being cancelled: 0

Oxford Info Sessions (Nov): 1

Student stand-up performances (Nov): 1

Live Comedy Attended: 12

Live Comedy Performed: 5

Fall Term:

Students who argued that I should be more accommodating to late students, by not taking roll at the start of class: 1

Students whom I spent SO much time trying to help and whom I graded higher because he was trying who made me regret that: 1

Students who were surprised being late every single day was a problem: 1

Students who were great: most of them

Students who were told to read more to prepare for the GRE (and to specifically read Camus): 1

Times I shut that shit down and gave her a tailored recommended reading list: 1

Times someone tried to pretend they were the President of the Margaret Atwood Society to try to get me to send them money (I’m the treasurer): 1

Times people wrote to me, thinking I was Margaret Atwood: 6

Atwood seminar students who think I should pretend to be Atwood when the questions are really stupid: all of them

Times I fainted from exhaustion: 1

25th Year Anniversaries celebrated with Melissa: 1

Times I had to pick up Anubis at the vet all dressed up for a date and the vet techs just wanted to talk about that, instead of Anubis’s urethra: 1

Times later that day my neurologist gave me dating advice: 1 (the advice: be three minutes late). I wasn’t, and it still worked out.

Things I had to cancel this year because of my stupid body: I lost count

Recipes tried (Nov): 12 (Creamy Butternut Squash and Coconut Noodle Soup; Skillet Broccoli-Cheddar Rice; Potsticker Soup; Chinese Garlic Green Beans; Ensalada Campera; Smoky Lentil Stew with Leeks and Potatoes; Ground Beef and Broccoli Stir Fry; Slow Cooker Chicken Tagine with Butternut Squash; Cranberry Chutney Grilled Cheese; Air Fryer Butternut Squash and Brussels Sprouts; Best-Ever Green Bean Casserole from Bon Appetit; Apple Cheddar Quiche)

Times I discovered using the “Express Cook” setting on my bread machine is a very bad idea, even when I forget to set the bread on time: 1

Recipes tried (Dec): 11 (Ham and Gruyere Quiche; One-Skillet Ham and Cheese Gnocchi; Baked Shawarma Ribs; Pancake & Dumpling Dipping Sauce; Broccoli with Garlic Butter and Cashews; Hoisin Garlic Noodles; One-Pot Roman Cacciatore with Potatoes; Suffering Bastard (cocktail); an invented Persian Lamb, Pepper, and Rice Soup; Venison Enchiladas; Venison Curry with Carrots)

Total new recipes tried: 80

Times I finally made brussels sprouts turn out wonderfully: 0

Best new recipe: Skillet Gnocchi with Miso Butter and Asparagus

Books (Nov): 4

Books (Dec): 7

Books Total: 90

Times I got my hormones tested and they were fine, but then I felt weird in summer and so we tested them again and found that I had rapidly slidden into menopause: 1

Times I asked about starting HRT ASAP and the doctor admitted she didn’t know enough about it because when she was in med school, the advice was that it was dangerous: 1

Appointments with a doc who should be able to help me set up for March: 1

Minutes I had a song stuck in my head, because I have OCD, and sometimes it’s just a jingle or a line a character kind of sings instead of delivers straight, like Bill Murray saying “oh oh oh, somebody’s comin,'” which was on repeat a few times: 525600

Cold December nights on which Thoth tried to come in with a rat, was blocked from doing so, and then pouted about it: 1

What I’m watching (Nov & Dec): Death by Lightning; Too Much; Nobody Wants This; The Inside Man; Stranger Things; Futurama; Bob’s Burgers; Seth Meyers; SNL; Stephen Colbert; Taskmaster; The Simpsons; Elsbeth; Miss Scarlet; Call the Midwife; Resident Alien; 30 Rock; Murdoch Mysteries; Emily in Paris; Abbot Elementary

Shows I was saddest to see go in 2025: What We Do In The Shadows & Lower Decks

Favorite New Show of 2025, which I’ve watched three times and am ready to rewatch again: MurderBot

Movies (Nov): 2 (Paddington 2; Oh. What. Fun.)

Movies (Dec): 11 (The Bishop’s Wife; The American President; Sleepless in Seattle; When Harry Met Sally; Freakier Friday; Train Dreams; Goodbye June; A Muppet Christmas Carol; Kathleen Madigan: The Family Thread; Wake Up Dead Man; Bridget Jones’s Diary)

Times I planned to sneak off into a Tuesday afternoon movie in Winter Quarter: 10

Times I actually did it, instead of just working more: 0

Movies total: 102

Times a doctor confirmed that sleep apnea isn’t what’s causing me to be chronically exhausted (maybe it’s CFS): 1

Times at the end of this objectively awful year when a doctor told me to relax and balance more: 1

Endoscopic confirmations that my GERD is not controlled right now at all: 1

Things I finally started caring about, which I should have cared about sooner: 1 (skin care)

Times I then learned that most “eye creams” shouldn’t go on your eye lid, though I’d been doing that the whole time: 1

The worst things this year: The end of my marriage and the lingering b.s. associated with it; the loss of so many documents due to the ex somehow being the administer of my computer and him trying to fix that; renovations meaning I didn’t have an office in Fall; having the staff person in charge of the UDCE quit right before it, throwing Fall Quarter into chaos; losing my phone in the UK; not being able to work on my Ancestry stuff or on putting together Daddy’s writings, due to all of the above.

The best things this year: Time at Panama City Beach; having some of Daddy’s pictures on my walls; my Chronic Pain: A Comedy show; having someone new in my life who makes me take whole days off; Karlissa in Paris; Oxford

New Year’s Resolutions: Working on defeating the negative voice in my head via therapy; resting more; playing in my family tree; seeing more movies & comedy; getting divorced; remembering that every picture in which I’m smiling or doing something I love or being with those I love is a great picture of me.

Zoom meetings not started on time because water started falling from the ceiling onto my desk: 1

Times I realized with horror that an email address for a project I manage wasn’t accessible by anyone: 1

Things that went wrong with a project at school, after the staff assistant quit for a new job: all of them

Nights I’ve had trouble sleeping due to that project: 6

Lizards Snowball wanted to show me, before eating them: 1

Bugs Snowball wanted to show me, before eating them: 1

Vaccine boosters: 1

New air fryers: 1

Plays: 3 (& Juliet; The Art of War; Eureka Day)

New comforters: 1

Student comedy shows attended: 1

Outpatient surgeries: 2

Allergy skin tests showing that I’m not “skin reactive” much anymore, after about 15 years of allergy shots: 1

Blue Octopi crocheted by my niece: 1

New recipes tried: 5 (Crispy Gnocchi with Sausage and Broccoli; Slow Cooker Harissa Chicken; Chocolate Rum Cake; One Pan Za’atar Chicken Bake; Ginger Chicken and Rice Soup with Zucchini)

Crocker Art Nights: 1

Books Finished: 4

Wine and food tasting events at the Mondavi Center: 1

Official taste tests for the Mondavi Center: 4

Times I spoke as part of California Free Thought Day: 3

Physical and mental health appointments, not including the ones mentioned above: 12

Movies: Hocus Pocus 2; House of Dynamite

Upper Division Comp Exam Scorings Facilitated: 1

Nights I got dressed up for a gala and then got hit on by a stranger in person for the first time in years, including sexism and unauthorized touching: 1

Times I posted something showing MAGA’s hypocrisy, but then hundreds of people on my side didn’t read it closely / didn’t know what “MAGA:” might mean before a statement (i.e., that I was quoting them) and yelled at me: 1

Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Marathons: 1

Days Celebrated: 11 (Random Acts of Poetry Day; Jiffy Mix Day; Halloween; Porridge Day; Taco Day; Angel Food Cake Day; Free Thought Day; No Bra Day, for breast cancer awareness; Liqueur Day; National Pasta Day; Cat Day)

Times someone said, “Please fuck my husband,” in all seriousness: 1

Wine openers displayed in my new collection so far, inspired by my favorite wine bar in Oxford: 5

Oxford Info Sessions Hosted: 1

Catch ups with friends: 6

Jimmy Carr comedy events cancelled: 1

Times I got to see my niece’s smile when she got a cake I baked and two books signed by an author she loves: 1

Vampire Balls: 1

Best selfies ever taken, after being inspired at the Vampire Ball: 1

Day of October when a new washer/dryer finally arrived, after the old one broke on 9/8: 16th

Times the drip pan, under the washer/dryer, which has not yet been replaced, revealed what looks like black mold: 1

Nightmares I had after someone helping a woman find out who her GI father is contacted me for help (since the woman is apparently related to me somehow) and then said that since the woman and I didn’t have any ancestors in common that my tree must be wrong, and so I dreamed that I found out my father was adopted, which was horrifying, not because I have a problem with adoption, but because it makes the last three years of work I’ve put into his side of the tree completely worthless: 1

New chez lounge scratching posts I got for Snowball, though she is the least interested in it: 1

Days late this wrap up is: 2

I’ve made a 1-minute video about what we’ll be doing here.

I’m having two Zoom info sessions soon.

10/28/2025, 4–5 p.m., PST, Register
11/25/2025, 12–1 p.m., PST, Register

More information about the program can be found here.

I’d love it if you could help me spread the word. Tell the anglophiles and cinephiles in your life. 🙂

I’ll be speaking & reading Atwood poems at the opening and closing of California Free Thought Day on Sunday.

Can’t make it to Sacramento? You can register to live stream it!

https://freethoughtday.org

Movies watched: 11 (The Cleaner; Superman; Bob Trevino Likes This; Austenland; Deep Cover; Star Trek (2009); Star Trek: Into Darkness; Ghostbusters; Ghostbusters: Afterlife; The Summer Book)

Recipes tried: 9 (Frittata di pasta; Sweet Corn Gazpacho; Pesto Pork Tenderloin; Lemony Zucchini Pasta (with cottage cheese); Grown-up Salisbury Steak; Skillet Hot Honey Chicken; Coconut Rice with Shrimp and Corn; Roasted Asparagus with Savory Butter Sauce; Stir-Fried Pork and Plums with Fresh Herbs)

Recipes I liked from the above: 7

Recipes that were inedible: 1 (the cottage cheese one)

School meetings before school started: 5

Emergency meetings once school started because someone is moving to a new job: 1

Health appointments: 10

Vaccines: 2

Days without a washing machine: 24 (9 more to go before a new one comes!) 🙁

Electrician appointments to fix the outlets in my kitchen: 1

Air fryers that broke: 1

Dates: 1

Unexpected geeky jokes I appreciated: 1

Offices I have lost access to: 1

Temporary offices I can use for a couple of hours a week: 1

National Days Celebrated: 5 (Pepperoni Pizza Day; Dumpling Day; Blasphemy Day; Star Trek Day; National Ghost Hunting Day)

New classes started: 3

Stand-up comedy club meetings: 1

Books finished: 4

What I’m watching: The Guilded Age; Alien: Earth; John Oliver; Bob’s Burgers; TaskMaster; South Park; Strange New Worlds; Upload; Outlander; The Serpent Queen; Acapulco; The Morning Show; The Simpsons; Only Murders in the Building; Lowdown; Assassin; Colbert; Seth Meyers; Jimmy Kimmel, once

Trips to Paris: 1

In Paris:

Days we had to book someone to pick us up at the airport because of a transit strike: 1

Days we went to the wrong Sorbonne campus but then had to stay there because my IBS-D decided that I had to stay in the bathroom for an hour while Melissa patiently waited and we missed the conference lunch: 1

Nice lunches we were able to have afterwards: 1

Great presentations we gave after lunch: 1

Servings of duck: 2

Servings of lamb: 2

Servings of beef, which I usually don’t eat: 3

Crepes: 2

Lemon tarts: 3

Creme brulees: 2

Pain au chocolat: 2

croissants: 3

eclairs: 1

desserts with pistachios: 4

tabuleahs: 2

eggplant dishes: 2

Servings of house-made pistachio ice cream at a lovely Lebanese restaurant: 1

Drinks in the courtyard of the History Museum: 1

Champagne-filled dinner cruise conference events, complete with a sexy singer who sang right to me a few times: 1

Webpages for Paris museums that were easy to use: 0

Museums explored: 5 (Consiergerie, Louvre, d’Orsay, Catacombs, Cluny)

Fairy Doors found: 1

Times I watched Foucault’s Pendulum, which proves the Earth turns on its axis, and wondered why we’re still debating the shape of the Earth: 1

Perfect Turkish restaurants for when we needed vegetables desperately: 1

Times Melissa and I realized that, in packing light, we had brought purses that were too big to enter the Catacombs with & we bought smaller utility purses in a shop by the Louvre: 1

Churches explored: 2 (St. Germain, Notre Dame)

Times we discovered, by ranking them, that we are picky bitches when it comes to cathedrals–Notre Dame wasn’t in either of our top 5 lists: 1

Used scarves bought from a kilo store: 3

Nights we put on a heating treatment for our tired feet and watched Austenland, which Melissa had not seen before: 1

Nights we watched Emily in Paris, which Melissa also had not seen: 3

Nights we did a wine tasting in the Louvre wine caves with just six other people (8 wines; 8 cheeses): 1

Times we were in a place frequented by great writers of old (Deux Magots, etc.): 2

Times I tried really hard to fall down, but managed to catch myself, resulting only in bruising: 2

Times my IBS was so bad that I threw up a couple of times and then found a massively bad bruise on my hand that must have come when running to the bathroom: 1

Times we tried to go to Shakespeare and Co, only to find a line around the block, so we went to the English-language bookstore near our flat for gifts.

Meals at Angelina’s: 2 (one was our “birthday” dinner, since we hadn’t gotten to celebrate either of our birthdays together. It was essentially a high tea, with champagne).

Minutes until we wouldn’t have been able to place the order for our birthday dinner: 4. Our server ran to put it in!

Times we discovered a closer entrance to the metro: 1

Times it took wandering around before we realized we could not exit through that if we were on line 12: 3

Days we left Paris right before a massive strike that would have meant we couldn’t leave: 1

Q: So classes start tomorrow, right?

A: Right.

Q: Are you ready?

A: Ish? I have the syllabi made and the first three weeks up on Canvas for everything.

Q: But?

A: I *just* learned my right-hand man for a project won’t be there (having an emergency meeting about it tomorrow), and I’m not looking forward to more AI cheating. But I know I’m going to have at least a few amazing students who will make it all worthwhile.

Q: How’s your annual tradition going?

A: What tradition?

Q: Where you denigrate yourself for not finishing every project, cleaning every corner, and solving all problems.

A: Oh, that. That’s going great, tradition-wise. As per usual, my inner critic is calling me a lazy bitch.

Q: But what did you get done?

A: I taught two courses in just four weeks in Oxford, served on some committees, filled out hours of divorce paperwork, did a day trip to Abingdon, saw a bunch of plays and comedy acts in the UK, hung out in London, prepped for the quarter starting, presented at a conference in Paris, went to a lot of museums there…

Q: But?

A: But yeah, I didn’t finish every project or clean all the corners or solve all the problems. I also didn’t cuddle Snowball enough, or go through all of my grandmothers’ recipe books like I wanted, or do enough stretches.

Q: What about the other aspects of being ready for the term?

A: Well, two of the outlets in the kitchen still don’t work, I have an infection, and the washing machine died a couple of weeks ago and won’t be fixed for almost three more weeks.

Q: How are you going to manage that?

A: Pretty sure that by the fourth session of classes, I’ll be teaching in Halloween costumes. Commando. There is no teacher. Only Zuul.

Toaster Oven/Air Fryers I thought were broken: 1

New Toaster Oven/Air Fryer/Grills purchased: 1

Outlets in the kitchen that are the actual broken things: 4

Books: 5

Catch ups with friends: 6

Birthdays: 1

Body Work appointments: 7

Other health appointments: 7

Diagnoses of acid reflux damaging my throat: 1

Tests insurance turned down: 1

Nights at the Crocker: 1

Plays: 2: Hair; Dracula: A Comedy of Terrors

Movies: 8: Dungeons and Dragons; The Taste of Things; Fantastic Four: First Steps; Spaceballs; Goodbye, Mr. Fancy; The Reluctant Debutante; The Last Time I Saw Paris; The Sunday Murder Club

New Recipes made: 7: Calabacitas; Thai-style chicken thighs; Eggplant and Italian Sausage Gratin; Rosemary, Honey, and Fig Cake; Fresh Fig Ice Cream; Lamb Chops with Fresh Fig Pan Sauce; Million Dollar Chicken Casserole

Meetings with former students who wanted me to know I was influential: 1

1st dates: 1

2nd dates: 0

What I’m watching: Strange New Worlds; Seth; Daily Show; Colbert; John Oliver; TaskMaster; South Park; Foundation; Acapulco; Emily in Paris; Dexter: Resurrection; Alien: Earth; What We Do in the Shadows; Man on the Inside; Hostage; The Simpsons; Bob’s Burgers

What I’m listening to: The Merovingians; New Music Friday; Morning Edition; Fresh Air; This American Life; American History Tellers; This is History; Working it Out; Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me; Heather Cox Richardson; LeVar Burton Reads; Savage Lovecast

I use my air fryer and air fryer/toaster oven a LOT, especially in summer. Last week, I plugged in the latter–it turned on for a second and then died. I tried tripping the breaker, but that wasn’t it. I figured I’d killed yet another appliance from over use.

I spent a lot of time researching a replacement and settled on a smaller unit; the one I had was so big it didn’t really get air-fried things crispy, though it was big enough to do most of the things my oven could. This new one is also supposed to grill.

I’ve never had a grill.

Le Grille? What the hell is that?!?
byu/Groundbreaking_Bad inTheSimpsons

When the air fryer/toaster oven/grill came, I plugged it in. Its lack of response is how I found out the outlet wasn’t working. In fact, two outlet sets in the kitchen aren’t working.

In other words, I’m down four outlets, but I have two toaster ovens, three air fryers, and a grill.

Le sigh.