Zoom meetings not started on time because water started falling from the ceiling onto my desk: 1

Times I realized with horror that an email address for a project I manage wasn’t accessible by anyone: 1

Things that went wrong with a project at school, after the staff assistant quit for a new job: all of them

Nights I’ve had trouble sleeping due to that project: 6

Lizards Snowball wanted to show me, before eating them: 1

Bugs Snowball wanted to show me, before eating them: 1

Vaccine boosters: 1

New air fryers: 1

Plays: 3 (& Juliet; The Art of War; Eureka Day)

New comforters: 1

Student comedy shows attended: 1

Outpatient surgeries: 2

Allergy skin tests showing that I’m not “skin reactive” much anymore, after about 15 years of allergy shots: 1

Blue Octopi crocheted by my niece: 1

New recipes tried: 5 (Crispy Gnocchi with Sausage and Broccoli; Slow Cooker Harissa Chicken; Chocolate Rum Cake; One Pan Za’atar Chicken Bake; Ginger Chicken and Rice Soup with Zucchini)

Crocker Art Nights: 1

Books Finished: 4

Wine and food tasting events at the Mondavi Center: 1

Official taste tests for the Mondavi Center: 4

Times I spoke as part of California Free Thought Day: 3

Physical and mental health appointments, not including the ones mentioned above: 12

Movies: Hocus Pocus 2; House of Dynamite

Upper Division Comp Exam Scorings Facilitated: 1

Nights I got dressed up for a gala and then got hit on by a stranger in person for the first time in years, including sexism and unauthorized touching: 1

Times I posted something showing MAGA’s hypocrisy, but then hundreds of people on my side didn’t read it closely / didn’t know what “MAGA:” might mean before a statement (i.e., that I was quoting them) and yelled at me: 1

Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Marathons: 1

Days Celebrated: 11 (Random Acts of Poetry Day; Jiffy Mix Day; Halloween; Porridge Day; Taco Day; Angel Food Cake Day; Free Thought Day; No Bra Day, for breast cancer awareness; Liqueur Day; National Pasta Day; Cat Day)

Times someone said, “Please fuck my husband,” in all seriousness: 1

Wine openers displayed in my new collection so far, inspired by my favorite wine bar in Oxford: 5

Oxford Info Sessions Hosted: 1

Catch ups with friends: 6

Jimmy Carr comedy events cancelled: 1

Times I got to see my niece’s smile when she got a cake I baked and two books signed by an author she loves: 1

Vampire Balls: 1

Best selfies ever taken, after being inspired at the Vampire Ball: 1

Day of October when a new washer/dryer finally arrived, after the old one broke on 9/8: 16th

Times the drip pan, under the washer/dryer, which has not yet been replaced, revealed what looks like black mold: 1

Nightmares I had after someone helping a woman find out who her GI father is contacted me for help (since the woman is apparently related to me somehow) and then said that since the woman and I didn’t have any ancestors in common that my tree must be wrong, and so I dreamed that I found out my father was adopted, which was horrifying, not because I have a problem with adoption, but because it makes the last three years of work I’ve put into his side of the tree completely worthless: 1

New chez lounge scratching posts I got for Snowball, though she is the least interested in it: 1

Days late this wrap up is: 2

I’ve made a 1-minute video about what we’ll be doing here.

I’m having two Zoom info sessions soon.

10/28/2025, 4–5 p.m., PST, Register
11/25/2025, 12–1 p.m., PST, Register

More information about the program can be found here.

I’d love it if you could help me spread the word. Tell the anglophiles and cinephiles in your life. 🙂

I’ll be speaking & reading Atwood poems at the opening and closing of California Free Thought Day on Sunday.

Can’t make it to Sacramento? You can register to live stream it!

Movies watched: 11 (The Cleaner; Superman; Bob Trevino Likes This; Austenland; Deep Cover; Star Trek (2009); Star Trek: Into Darkness; Ghostbusters; Ghostbusters: Afterlife; The Summer Book)

Recipes tried: 9 (Frittata di pasta; Sweet Corn Gazpacho; Pesto Pork Tenderloin; Lemony Zucchini Pasta (with cottage cheese); Grown-up Salisbury Steak; Skillet Hot Honey Chicken; Coconut Rice with Shrimp and Corn; Roasted Asparagus with Savory Butter Sauce; Stir-Fried Pork and Plums with Fresh Herbs)

Recipes I liked from the above: 7

Recipes that were inedible: 1 (the cottage cheese one)

School meetings before school started: 5

Emergency meetings once school started because someone is moving to a new job: 1

Health appointments: 10

Vaccines: 2

Days without a washing machine: 24 (9 more to go before a new one comes!) 🙁

Electrician appointments to fix the outlets in my kitchen: 1

Air fryers that broke: 1

Dates: 1

Unexpected geeky jokes I appreciated: 1

Offices I have lost access to: 1

Temporary offices I can use for a couple of hours a week: 1

National Days Celebrated: 5 (Pepperoni Pizza Day; Dumpling Day; Blasphemy Day; Star Trek Day; National Ghost Hunting Day)

New classes started: 3

Stand-up comedy club meetings: 1

Books finished: 4

What I’m watching: The Guilded Age; Alien: Earth; John Oliver; Bob’s Burgers; TaskMaster; South Park; Strange New Worlds; Upload; Outlander; The Serpent Queen; Acapulco; The Morning Show; The Simpsons; Only Murders in the Building; Lowdown; Assassin; Colbert; Seth Meyers; Jimmy Kimmel, once

Trips to Paris: 1

In Paris:

Days we had to book someone to pick us up at the airport because of a transit strike: 1

Days we went to the wrong Sorbonne campus but then had to stay there because my IBS-D decided that I had to stay in the bathroom for an hour while Melissa patiently waited and we missed the conference lunch: 1

Nice lunches we were able to have afterwards: 1

Great presentations we gave after lunch: 1

Servings of duck: 2

Servings of lamb: 2

Servings of beef, which I usually don’t eat: 3

Crepes: 2

Lemon tarts: 3

Creme brulees: 2

Pain au chocolat: 2

croissants: 3

eclairs: 1

desserts with pistachios: 4

tabuleahs: 2

eggplant dishes: 2

Servings of house-made pistachio ice cream at a lovely Lebanese restaurant: 1

Drinks in the courtyard of the History Museum: 1

Champagne-filled dinner cruise conference events, complete with a sexy singer who sang right to me a few times: 1

Webpages for Paris museums that were easy to use: 0

Museums explored: 5 (Consiergerie, Louvre, d’Orsay, Catacombs, Cluny)

Fairy Doors found: 1

Times I watched Foucault’s Pendulum, which proves the Earth turns on its axis, and wondered why we’re still debating the shape of the Earth: 1

Perfect Turkish restaurants for when we needed vegetables desperately: 1

Times Melissa and I realized that, in packing light, we had brought purses that were too big to enter the Catacombs with & we bought smaller utility purses in a shop by the Louvre: 1

Churches explored: 2 (St. Germain, Notre Dame)

Times we discovered, by ranking them, that we are picky bitches when it comes to cathedrals–Notre Dame wasn’t in either of our top 5 lists: 1

Used scarves bought from a kilo store: 3

Nights we put on a heating treatment for our tired feet and watched Austenland, which Melissa had not seen before: 1

Nights we watched Emily in Paris, which Melissa also had not seen: 3

Nights we did a wine tasting in the Louvre wine caves with just six other people (8 wines; 8 cheeses): 1

Times we were in a place frequented by great writers of old (Deux Magots, etc.): 2

Times I tried really hard to fall down, but managed to catch myself, resulting only in bruising: 2

Times my IBS was so bad that I threw up a couple of times and then found a massively bad bruise on my hand that must have come when running to the bathroom: 1

Times we tried to go to Shakespeare and Co, only to find a line around the block, so we went to the English-language bookstore near our flat for gifts.

Meals at Angelina’s: 2 (one was our “birthday” dinner, since we hadn’t gotten to celebrate either of our birthdays together. It was essentially a high tea, with champagne).

Minutes until we wouldn’t have been able to place the order for our birthday dinner: 4. Our server ran to put it in!

Times we discovered a closer entrance to the metro: 1

Times it took wandering around before we realized we could not exit through that if we were on line 12: 3

Days we left Paris right before a massive strike that would have meant we couldn’t leave: 1

Q: So classes start tomorrow, right?

A: Right.

Q: Are you ready?

A: Ish? I have the syllabi made and the first three weeks up on Canvas for everything.

Q: But?

A: I *just* learned my right-hand man for a project won’t be there (having an emergency meeting about it tomorrow), and I’m not looking forward to more AI cheating. But I know I’m going to have at least a few amazing students who will make it all worthwhile.

Q: How’s your annual tradition going?

A: What tradition?

Q: Where you denigrate yourself for not finishing every project, cleaning every corner, and solving all problems.

A: Oh, that. That’s going great, tradition-wise. As per usual, my inner critic is calling me a lazy bitch.

Q: But what did you get done?

A: I taught two courses in just four weeks in Oxford, served on some committees, filled out hours of divorce paperwork, did a day trip to Abingdon, saw a bunch of plays and comedy acts in the UK, hung out in London, prepped for the quarter starting, presented at a conference in Paris, went to a lot of museums there…

Q: But?

A: But yeah, I didn’t finish every project or clean all the corners or solve all the problems. I also didn’t cuddle Snowball enough, or go through all of my grandmothers’ recipe books like I wanted, or do enough stretches.

Q: What about the other aspects of being ready for the term?

A: Well, two of the outlets in the kitchen still don’t work, I have an infection, and the washing machine died a couple of weeks ago and won’t be fixed for almost three more weeks.

Q: How are you going to manage that?

A: Pretty sure that by the fourth session of classes, I’ll be teaching in Halloween costumes. Commando. There is no teacher. Only Zuul.

Toaster Oven/Air Fryers I thought were broken: 1

New Toaster Oven/Air Fryer/Grills purchased: 1

Outlets in the kitchen that are the actual broken things: 4

Books: 5

Catch ups with friends: 6

Birthdays: 1

Body Work appointments: 7

Other health appointments: 7

Diagnoses of acid reflux damaging my throat: 1

Tests insurance turned down: 1

Nights at the Crocker: 1

Plays: 2: Hair; Dracula: A Comedy of Terrors

Movies: 8: Dungeons and Dragons; The Taste of Things; Fantastic Four: First Steps; Spaceballs; Goodbye, Mr. Fancy; The Reluctant Debutante; The Last Time I Saw Paris; The Sunday Murder Club

New Recipes made: 7: Calabacitas; Thai-style chicken thighs; Eggplant and Italian Sausage Gratin; Rosemary, Honey, and Fig Cake; Fresh Fig Ice Cream; Lamb Chops with Fresh Fig Pan Sauce; Million Dollar Chicken Casserole

Meetings with former students who wanted me to know I was influential: 1

1st dates: 1

2nd dates: 0

What I’m watching: Strange New Worlds; Seth; Daily Show; Colbert; John Oliver; TaskMaster; South Park; Foundation; Acapulco; Emily in Paris; Dexter: Resurrection; Alien: Earth; What We Do in the Shadows; Man on the Inside; Hostage; The Simpsons; Bob’s Burgers

What I’m listening to: The Merovingians; New Music Friday; Morning Edition; Fresh Air; This American Life; American History Tellers; This is History; Working it Out; Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me; Heather Cox Richardson; LeVar Burton Reads; Savage Lovecast

I use my air fryer and air fryer/toaster oven a LOT, especially in summer. Last week, I plugged in the latter–it turned on for a second and then died. I tried tripping the breaker, but that wasn’t it. I figured I’d killed yet another appliance from over use.

I spent a lot of time researching a replacement and settled on a smaller unit; the one I had was so big it didn’t really get air-fried things crispy, though it was big enough to do most of the things my oven could. This new one is also supposed to grill.

I’ve never had a grill.

When the air fryer/toaster oven/grill came, I plugged it in. Its lack of response is how I found out the outlet wasn’t working. In fact, two outlet sets in the kitchen aren’t working.

In other words, I’m down four outlets, but I have two toaster ovens, three air fryers, and a grill.

Le sigh.

Days in the UK: 29

Amazing students: 16

Wonderful assistants: 1

Books finished: 13

Hugo ballots cast: 1

Nandos meals: 4 (6 total this year in the UK)

Colds: 1

Lamb servings: 9 (11 total this year in the UK)

Catch ups with friends: 4

Essays evaluated for a journal: 1

Essays approved for publication: 0

Atwood meetings: 1

Vaults and Gardens meals: 3

New spaces explored in Oxford: 2 (St. Mary Magdalene Church; New College)

Oxford Comedy Events attended: 2 (The Loremen; Annie McGrath)

Oxford Comedy Events I had tickets for that I was too tired to attend: 2

Oxford Comedy Events I had tickets for that I too sick to attend: 2

Oxford Comedy Events I had tickets for that got cancelled: 2

Museum exhibits in Oxford: 1 (Treasures of the Bodlein)

Museum exhibits that included a Lisa Simpson figurine: 1

Actual ranch dressing servings (homemade, at Dirty Bones): 1

Books ordered from Blackwells: 1

Purses I bought for this trip that fell apart right away: 1

New, superior purses acquired: 1

Movies: 18 (Julie, Julie; Lawrence of Arabia; Persuasion; Shaun of the Dead; Shaun the Sheep; The Third Man; They Shall Not Grow Old + its documentary about making it; About a Boy; Jurassic World (twice, but not because it was good); 28 Years Later (aka Naked Lunch); A Fish Called Wanda; Hard Truths; Ex-Husbands; Paddington 2; Much Ado About Nothing; About a Boy; Ahir Shah: Ends)

Times it turned out to be a good thing I’d already seen Jurassic World, so I could help a water-phobic student get through it: 1

UDCE meetings: 1

Pizzas: 3

(Winner for best pizza: White Rabbit)

Guest Lectures for my class by Dr. Liam: 1

Wine Tastings: 1

Mulberries from a tree in London: 3 (the ripest one burst)

Meh pastas: 3

Times I discovered I don’t like authentic carbonara: 1

Times I realized I shouldn’t have expected to like authentic carbonara, since I don’t like runny egg yolks in any form: 1

Plays: 1 (Intimate Apparel, with Samira Wiley)

Dishoom meals: 2 (4 total this year in the UK)

Threading appointments: 1

Roasts: 2

Ben’s Cookies: 3

Books signed for my niece by their author: 2

Extended discussions of how awful America is with Brits: 3

Fish and Chips: 5 (7 total this year in the UK)

(Winner for the best Fish and Chips: Tas Pide, surprisingly)

Falls: 1

Bruises: so many

Times I became an accidental tour guide to other tourists: 3

Paddington hats sought: 1

Times a shopkeeper told me he didn’t have a Paddington hat for me: 1

Times I left the shop, only to be chased down by a guy on a bicycle a few blocks away, who explained that he was a fellow shopper tasked with finding me, as the shopkeeper realized he had something that would indeed work: 1

Oxford Daleks encountered: 1 (2 total for the year in the UK)

Irish Whiskeys available at the local Oxford pub I can’t get at Safeway at home: 0

Meals from the George St. Market: 2

New spaces in London explored: 2 (Temple Church & the Embankment Gardens)

Osteo appointments: 2

Massages: 2

Tequila days celebrated: 1

Ice cream days celebrated: 1

Pistachio-based desserts: 3

Meals at Chutneys: 4

Duck servings: 5 (7 total while in the UK)

Trips to Abingdon: 1 (Explored: The Nag’s Head; The Abbey Gardens (with ruins); the local museum; the grounds of the oldest remaining church; the few Abbey buildings that survived Henry VIII; the Unicorn Theatre)

Days my IBS made life difficult: 31

Times I had diarrhea in a building Henry VIII was once in: 1

Letters of rec written: 3

Cotswolds trips planned: 1

Cotswolds trips cancelled by the agency the afternoon before: 1

Excursions with the students: 5 (Botanic Gardens; Magdalen College; Stonehenge; The Wilton House; Oxford Castle)

Pubs: 7 (Head of the River; The Oxford Retreat; Turf (3x); The Lighthouse (2x); The Wine Cellar (3x); The Plough Inn (4x); The Castle)

Times I was mistaken for a manager of The Head of the River: 1

Summer puddings: 1

Times I realized the St. Brice Day Massacre’s episode involving burning down a church with Danes inside happened in Oxford: 1

High Teas: 1

Servings of Eton Mess: 2 (3 total this year)

Pimms Cups: 8

New recipes made: 1

Times I realized I lost even more files than previously thought in last month’s computer debacle: 1

Planned outings with friends that my body wouldn’t let me go to: 2

Times Hannah and I met a woman who happened to be from Hannah’s hometown and discovered they’d graduated in the same year: 1

Times the woman and her boyfriend ran into me again: 1

Days I did “smokey eye”: 0

Guys who thought they could chat me up by talking about crypto: 1

Times I was telling an Oxfordian that I was taking my students to the castle, only for him to remark it was really small, before I had to remind him my students and I are from a country with no castles at all: 1

Favorite thing a student said: “He really puts the Florida into Florida Tech.”

What I’m watching: Funny Woman; The Bear; Miss Austen; Q; Bridgerton; Too Much; Zero Day; Stephen Colbert; The Daily Show; MurderBot; Seth Meyers; John Oliver; Queen Charlotte; Acapulco; Resident Alien

What I’m listening to: This is History; Savage Love; This American Life; Morning Edition; All Things Considered; Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me; Working it Out; Side Door

Days in Great Britain: 8

New recipes made: 10 (Honey Za’tar Salmon with okra and corn; Salatet Malfouf (Lebanese Coleslaw); Pesto Ravioli with Zucchini; Peri Peri Pork Burgers; Pork Souvlaki Burgers; Pad Prik King (Red Curry Chicken); Lebanese London Broil; Butter-Soy (Velveted) Chicken and Asparagus Stir-Fry; One Pot Zucchini-Basil Pasta; Frisco Sour)

Movies: 8 (Jane Austen Wrecked My Life; The Phoenician Scheme; Nonnas; Everybody’s Fine; Murder Mystery; Paddington in Peru; Crazy Stupid Love; An Education)

Last intentional meals before going abroad: 3 (last catfish, Mexican, and American-style breakfast)

Stand-up comedy shows: 2 (the student club’s graduating senior show; Randy Feltface)

Requests from Cengage to reprint one of my articles: 1

Classes said goodbye to: 3

Upper endoscopies rescheduled: 1

Divorce lawyers found: 1

Being kicked out of our department’s offices for three months for renovations: 1

Catch ups with friends: 8

Catch ups with former students: 1

Letters of rec written: 4

Letters of rec not written, due to having nothing good to say: 2

Initiations of a niece to Labyrinth: 1

Plays: 6 (Goodnight and Good Luck; Advice; Here We Are; The Girl From North Country; Giant; Elephant; the last four were over three days)

Atwood books spotted in the Elephant set: 1

Avid Reader Midnight Release Parties: 1

Faculty lunches: 1

Reappointments to oversee the Upper Division Comp Exam: 1

Students I was worried may become unhinged about their grades: 1

Meetings devoted to dealing with the rise in AI cheating: 1

Wine tastings: 1

Events ruined by migraines: 2

Dinners at Nandos: 2

Servings of lamb: 2

Servings of duck: 2

Meals at Dishoom: 2

Servings of okra: 4

Lavender lemonades from the Borough Market: 2

Know-it-all Tories at plays sitting behind me who were wrong about everything, including where their seats were: 1

Plays missed because of IBS: 1

Courses started: 2

Ridiculous bus conversations: 1

Phones, driver’s licenses, debit cards, and cards about how I have weird blood stolen: 1 (each)

Phone calls to Bank of America (BOA), in which they insisted I deal with their AI on the app: 3

Arguments with BOA AI: 3

Problems solved on the phone or the app with BOA: 0

Daleks escaped from in London: 1

New favorite ice creams: 1 (soy sauce ice cream at the Banana Tree)

Purses I bought to use overseas that fell apart immediately: 1

Scary ads in the Underground: 1 (“Humans Were The Beta Test”)

Three hour walking tours with the students during a heat wave: 1

Times I found out my current assistant was formerly Stephen Colbert’s intern: 1

Getting recognized in my Oxford Wine Shop: 1

Lavender festivals in Woodland: 1

Days it took a bruise I got from wearing compression socks on the June 22nd-23rd flight to fade: not sure; it hasn’t completely faded, though it was nine days ago

Museum exhibits: 2

Times I wanted to book a reservation at a restaurant, but couldn’t make one when I said it was for just one person: 1

Times I changed the reservation request to 2 people: 1

Almost completely restaurants I showed up to: 1

Servers who didn’t properly check me in (failing to note I had a reservation): 1

Pissy emails from the restaurant, accusing me of not showing up for my reservation: 3

Direct text messages (at 10:37 p.m.!) from the restaurant asking why I didn’t show up: 1

Nearly perfect Oxford flats: 1 (no toaster; weird door lock)

Books, novellas, novelettes: 15

New cathedrals explored: 1