My Grandparents’ Christmas

Family & friends

Earlier this year, my cousin told me that I would be going down to Florida this Christmas. She told me several times, in fact. It was important because my grandparents are in ill health. With few exceptions, we all headed down. Descending on a house made for two is never a good idea for a septic tank, but my grandparents were still happy to have every available surface covered in children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

On Christmas Eve, my cousin Kelly and her family decided we would do our first ever bonfire. This Christmas in Northern Florida was mild enough for it, and we live way out in the woods. How far out? We live in an unincorporated area without any official buildings (post office etc) right next to the Pine Log State Forest. That’s why home is called Pine Log.

Once we got the fire up, we got out the smore materials (I’d never had a smore!) and got the grandparents (although I was worried about grandma’s oxygen unit being at all near flame).

My brother, Granddaddy, and GrandmaMost of the Gang

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although the bonfire was very much enjoyed, it was only a precursor for what was to happen the next day.

In my family, the adults draw names. My cousin Tessa had gotten Grandma’s name. She decided to give Grandma something unique–a wedding.

You see, my grandparents had their sixtieth wedding anniversary this year. However, they did not get to spend the day together because Grandma tried to bleed out in a hospital instead. (Granddaddy got her back by having to go the ER on his birthday.)

Tessa got ordained online and then “Operation Cobra” went into action, as we warned Granddaddy, got flowers, a cake, a veil, etc.

After all the rest of the presents were opened, Tessa took Grandma into her room and told her what was about to happen. As Grandma got dressed in her veil and garter, Granddaddy snuck into the suit he had hidden in his office. Then he went to await his beautiful bride.

Uncle Marty walking his mother down the aisle

Most of the family was convinced that they wouldn’t be able to make it through the ceremony with dry eyes (I somehow thought I would be an exception). Tessa decided to break the tension by turning around like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She only kept it on for a moment. Quickly into the ceremony, I found myself able to see my grandfather’s face. Here was the man who raised me renewing his vows. I would not be able to contain my tears for long.

After a few words, Tessa asked them if they wanted to say anything. My grandfather, usually a man of few words, launched into a long speech that started with “Let me tell you about this girl I met 62 years ago.” He then spoke of the early days, of how Grandma gave him a daughter and then doubled their household to six with the next birth. He talked of how they built their retirement home for two, but how they’d never been left alone in it since they always had at least one descendant in it (I was the first, moving in as they were building the house!). He spoke of having to leave her on her own to fight in Korea and Vietnam and how so many soldiers didn’t get to come home to their wives.

How was I not supposed to cry, as I watched my strong and wonderful Granddaddy break down, while Grandma couldn’t stop smiling out of pure joy?

When given her chance, she said simply that she would do it all again.

Everyone had a tissue. I thought about how I would never end up doing what they were doing. I thought about Margaret Atwood’s poem, “Habitation.” I thought about how lucky I was to have been raised by these people.

Then there was cake, and removing the garter, and champagne. Kativa, my aunt, explained where the champagne came from. She and her husband had bought it to have for their 25th anniversary, but his brain tumor many years ago kept them from being able to make it to that anniversary.

If I hadn’t been crying before . . .

at the wedding

Merry Christmas!
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2011 By The Numbers

Family & friends, Misc–karmic mistakes?, Simpsonology

17 classes taught

1 rear-ending while in Vanessa’s car by Vanessa’s student, who later became my student (Davis is small)

2 trips to LA with Denise to visit the wonderful people at The Simpsons, where we got to tour the animation building, watch them record the music, and watch them record the voices. 

1 amazing day watching Alexander’s robotics team (of which he was President) win the regionals, so they could go on to the International FIRST competition

1 conference in London, where I got to see Liam and Courtney and Chaz, to meet Carmen, who has offered to marry me when I get serious about moving to England, and to present on Octavia Butler

1 magical conference in Alcala, Spain, the birthplace of Catherine of Aragon and Cervantes, where the University was founded in 1499, and where I spoke on Buffy comics and found Duff Beer!

1 endoscopy, 1 MRI, 2 neurologists, 2 ER visits, 5 allergy shots every other week

1 summer of dead electronics: 2 computers, 1 DVD player, 1 phone, 1 car, 1 watch

1 day at WonderCon with April and Alexander (with 1 meeting of Berkeley Breathed)

2 students who said I kept them from dropping out; 3 students who said I saved their lives 

2 plays at The California Shakespeare Festival

1 viewing of John Leguizamo’s amazing new show                                                  

2 cats (Osiris and Mahahes) after Isis ran away

1 wine-tasting afternoon with Rae

1 taking over the editorship of Prized Writing

1 Tim Burton exhibit

1 trip to Ashland to see 4 amazing plays with Dan

1 getting to hug Scott Thompson after seeing him with Kevin McDonald

2 trips into San Francisco, to see Stuffed and Unstrung and Richard III with Kevin Spacey

1 Driving Miss Daisy with Vanessa Redgrave and James Earl Jones

2 Grandparents who renewed their vows

1 giant (several pounds) application for a three-year contract at Davis

2 visits to Davis by Zach Weiner, author of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

1 replacing Mindy (temporarily) as friend to Vickie (due to computer literacy)

3 websites that regularly feature my writing, though I’ve just quit one: www.dr-karma.com; www.matchflick.com; www.examiner.com

2 Christmas trees (one taken down in time for Martin Luther King Jr Day; one put up the Saturday after Thanksgiving)

1 month of time travel dreams induced by the writing of a soon to be published paper on Time Travel in Star Trek

1 surprise party thrown for me on Father’s Day by my friends who wanted to celebrate the successful parenting of my beloved child (and yes, I was surprised)

40-something weeks of book group (which has been running about 8 years)

4 movies at the French Film Festival                       

1 Doctor Who Experience!

4 university committees & 3 journals served on

1 Christmas in Florida

12 months of teaching, with nary a break

52 weeks of great friends, new and old recipes, and wonderful reads

1 completed child, turned 18 and sent to college

1 2011 list completed, to be sent to you with my love, Karma

 

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The Christmas Tree

Misc–karmic mistakes?

I had to leave my darling Christmas Tree with my friends looking after it to head to the South for Christmas. Those who’ve been to my house know that my tree goes up the first possible moment after Thanksgiving and stays up well into January.

I have a fascination with Christmas trees–when I was a child, I would play with the giant one my step-father would put by the spiral stairs for hours. My smaller dolls would make nests in the tree, talking to various humanoid ornaments.

I can’t play with the tree much anymore. My allergies to all things natural–including every kind of tree–means that decorating is a trade-off in happiness and welts. Still, having a tree up is worth it to me. Here’s this year’s:

Yes, that’s Katharine Hepburn behind the tree. And then there are Simpsons:

My major award (I’m glad it didn’t break in transit; I think it’s from Italy):

                           Jack:

 

 

And the strangest ornament I’ve ever seen. This is a Disney ornament, from the Disney store. So why is there an Imperial Walker on it (with a Christmas wreath)? The mystery remains.

Vanessa gave me a brand new ornament right before I left–one with Beyonce the Chicken, but I didn’t get a picture yet. Next year!

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On the Endoscopy

Misc–karmic mistakes?

So this week I went to the ER on Tuesday because my back was out. The medications I could take were severely limited because of my upcoming endoscopy on Friday. In fact, I had to go off all pain medication on Thursday because of the 2 day fast that was supposedly required (pain medication + empty stomach = nausea). On Thursday night, I started my “cleanse,” which required me to visit the bathroom very often, even though it hurt to walk there.

Soon after being taken in by the nurse Friday, I noted something seemed wrong. She asked when I’d last eaten and drank. When I told her I hadn’t had anything to drink since the night before, she declared me “hard core.”

Now, of course I am hard core, but following medical instructions isn’t usually what gets me labeled so.

When the nurses were then putting all the fun bruising apparati on me (including the blood pressure cuff, which left lines of red scratches on my arm from monitoring me during the procedure), I made a joke about the cleansing fluid.

Nurse: Why did you drink that?
Me: It was at the pharmacy for me. With instructions. Someone ordered it for me.

One of the nurses disappeared. A few minutes later, the doctor appeared, apologizing profusely for my having done the cleanse. “No one should have to do that when they don’t have to.” They all promised to find out who had ordered the vile solution by mistake.

Then they put me to sleep. They found some “spots” to biopsy. I would have asked what that meant, but I was still pretty drugged up in the post-op talk.

More news to follow, presumably.

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London, part 4

Misc–karmic mistakes?

When I last left off my London diary, I was just getting to the fireworks. I was there for my first Bonfire Night! Bonfire Night originally started as a celebration of the capture of Guy Fawkes and the King’s surviving an assassination plot. In later years, it became an anti-Catholic holiday. Now, it’s a night for revelry and drinking.

The fireworks in the park were the best I’ve ever seen. They were set to music, beautifully choreographed, and very long. There were some types I’d never seen before, including ones that looked like giant gold fans of light coming up from the ground. We drank our mulled wine and soaked in the colors.

Then we headed back to Courtney and Liam’s friends’ house, where there was drinking and dancing and glowsticks. It was like I was seeing a part of the 90s that I missed somehow. A frenchman in the garden charred the outside of some meat and kept sticking it into my mouth before I could protest. A englishman arranged my glowsticks so they were illuminating my cleavage, popping at intervals out of my bra like the Statue of Liberty’s crown spokes.

When we got back to C and L’s, I was covered in smoke from the smokers in the garden, but we fell asleep anyway and slept late.

I made my way back to Chaz and Carmen’s later that day. We feasted at a Chinese/Indian fusion place close to their house. Wonderful duck, amazing fish with Indian mint sauce. For once, we got to bed at a decent hour, and then Carmen and I were up to museum. We hit the British museum to see treasures old and new. We came across an exhibit I’d seen before–the pills an average Westerner will take in his/her life.

Check out the exhibit here: http://www.britishmuseum.org/explore/highlights/highlight_objects/aoa/c/cradle_to_grave.aspx

Afterwards, we headed to Nando’s (Carmen was wonderful to indulge my obsession). Then she took me to the geek store–Forbidden Planet, where we got lost for several hours. After coffee, we split up so I could go meet Courtney.

We were off to have dinner with some friends of hers. There was an amazing pumpkin soup, mushroom risotto, jacket potato, and juniper chicken. I wish I could have finished it all, but I filled up on the richness too quickly. C and I had to leave before dessert. I got home in time to see Poirot solve a mystery and then went to bed.

TBC

 

 

 

 

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The most beautiful tree at its most beautiful time.

Misc–karmic mistakes?

 

I have a favorite tree on campus–an autumn gold. I walk past it almost every day; there’s only one time of year it’s this beautiful. The other morning I snapped these pics:

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A little message from The Regents

Politics and other nonsense, Teaching
From a report (http://www.baycitizen.org/education/story/protesters-demand-uc-regents-raises/) on the Regents’ meeting yesterday: “The regents also approved salary raises for 10 administrators and managers, including a 9.9 percent increase for Meredith Michaels, vice chancellor of planning and budget at UC Irvine, whose annual salary will increase to $247,275 from $225,000.

“Six campus attorneys also received salary increases. The largest increase, 21.9 percent, went to Steven A. Drown, chief campus counsel and associate general counsel at UC Davis. His yearly salary will rise to $250,000 from $205,045.”

Let’s remember what the protests are about, shall we? After already raising tuition by about 40%, the Regents are poised to vote on an 81% additional increase for UC Students.
I accept that there will be a great divide between my salary and the salary of those above me, even though, in all honesty, someone making 250,000 doesn’t not actually have 6 times the experience I do, nor 6 times the education. I know for a fact that that person doesn’t put in 6 times the hours, either.
It is disconcerting, though, that in a time of recession in California, of educational crisis, that someone’s salary could pay for 6 of me, allowing thousands more students to take the classes they need to graduate. It is odd to consider someone’s raise being more than my entire salary, as my own union has to fight to make sure we get 1% a year, which does not make up for inflation.
The big bosses say that these raises are necessary, or else we won’t have good people doing these jobs. It’s disheartening to know that good people doing the actual teaching aren’t considered near that important. Neither are good students in the classrooms, since admittance will surely soon be about being able to afford education, not to thrive in it.
They also want you to know that serving on this committee, the one where they get to vote to give themselves raises, is an “unpaid” service to the university. What is my unpaid service? Serving on two department committees (chairing one); serving on two university-wide committees; attending meetings and events; mentoring students; teaching “special” one on one courses (for no pay at all); advising on dissertations; writing hundreds of recommendation letters; giving lectures for other people’s classes, programs, and the book project; answering emails from students every single day of the week and on holidays; publishing, attending conferences, and staying current in my field.
It’s interesting that the regents feel it notable that they attend regents meetings without bonus pay.
There’s a clear message from the regents to the students, parents, and teachers in this system. They didn’t need to have a big meeting about it–just flipping us the bird would have saved a lot of time.
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On the UCD press coverage

Politics and other nonsense

Many of us here at Davis are frustrated by the inaccuracies in the media about the motivation behind the protests at Davis. Yesterday, the Public Relations Committee of the UWP talked about ways in which this might be addressed.
This morning, after hearing even my local NPR do an oversimplification, I drafted this letter. A few members of the PR Committee have also attached their names, & I’ve just sent it out.
Dear CapRadio,

National and international press coverage of the incidents at UC Davis has included a fundamental error; and we have noticed this mistake replicated on our local NPR station, CapRadio.

Just this morning, CapRadio reported that the pepper-spraying incidents occurred after the chancellor told the police to dismantle the “Occupy Wall Street” tents. Although many of the protestors on campus support the Occupy Wall Street aims, and although some Occupy Wall Street supporters have joined the protest at UC Davis, reporting that these rallies and strikes are about the Wall Street movement is inaccurate. A brief outline of the actual events follows.

The initial movement, which has been called “Occupy UC” and “Reclaim UC,” is a protest against the proposed 81% tuition hike. Berkeley held protests as a part of this movement, and violence was used against those protestors.

UC Davis, with the authorization of the Davis Faculty Association, protested both the tuition hike and the brutality used against the Berkeley students. As part of that protest, UC Davis students erected tents on the quad. Their occupation of the space can be interpreted as a form of visual rhetoric that linked their protests to the larger Occupy Movement, but the larger views of the protests are still anti-tuition hike and anti-violence. That our students were attacked by police while protesting violence against Berkeley protestors is an irony ignored by the “Occupy Wall Street” label being applied to the protests. The strike called for November 28th is being lauded (and in some way claimed) by the larger “Occupy” movement, but we ask that reporters accurately state what the students are striking for.

Today, UCLA called for protests to support UC Davis’ anti-violence position and to decry the rise in tuition. We hope that coverage of the wave of protests sweeping the state will voice the actual concerns of the majority of the protestors, rather than oversimplifying and/or misrepresenting what the students’ concerns are. We are especially hopeful that our local station will be the source of the most nuanced and accurate news.

For more information about the movement, please talk to the leaders on the quad. Check out http://reclaimuc.blogspot.com/; and of course, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

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London, part 3

Misc–karmic mistakes?

After the Dr Who Experience, Courtney and I needed lunch.  Unfortunately, we came out of a tube stop from the wrong exit and had to walk around a couple of miles before we came to a pub. I had some traditional fish and chips while C had some amazing lamb. Then Liam met us and we headed to the Victoria and Albert. We tracked down a gigantic musical instrument I saw on a postcard: Tipu’s Tiger.  It’s a tiger attacking a British colonialist–life sized. It is also an organ. The colonialist’s arm moves to simulate trying to push the tiger off.

Then we went to an exhibit on The Power of Making–a large room full of things made from materials you wouldn’t expect–an amazing “glass” sculpture  that’s actually made of sugar, a dress made from needles called the “widow,” but the best thing was a giant silver gorilla made from clothes hangers. It was vibrant and alive and perfect.

After all that culture, we needed libations, so we headed to the Worship Whistle Shop–a place that makes its liquor the victorian way. We had these gin fizzes with sage on top. The atmosphere was very good & so were the drinks. Then we headed to a bar with a cool name that I can’t remember–I had a white linen (though it wasn’t called that). Liam had the guys there make him a a Michelada–it took a while, as it seems that particular drink hasn’t spread that far.

Then we headed back to Liam & Courtney’s, where Liam made chicken wings and we watched what happened to be on TV–Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. I headed back home afterwards & ended up staying up talking to Carmen until late. Didn’t rise until after 1 in the afternoon.

Carmen made some fantastic pancakes, but then I was off to meet Courtney and Liam again. We met at a tapas bar (named Carmen), and then to a friend’s place that was close to the the Bonfire Night festivities  . . .

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Jen Cross’s Talk

Teaching, Words, words, words

This week, I had the honor of bringing Jen Cross to campus as part of the University Writing Program’s Conversations with Writers series. Jen is a writer and workshop leader who specializes in erotic writing, exploring its tranformative and healing effects. I encouraged my students to attend, promising them an amazing time. Luckily, Jen was able to keep my promise.

I was struck immediately by Jen’s energy. She is welcoming and warm and funny. All of this was on display during her talk.

She warned the audience that they would be writing a little bit–she is a writing workshop leader, after all. Thus, after about 35 minutes of talking, she had us freewrite for five minutes, with the prompt to describe “a first time.”

I was pleased with the product of my efforts, and thus found myself tempted to read when she asked for volunteers. Of course, I had many students in the room, and it struck me that they probably don’t want to think of me as capable of writing like that. On the other hand, them having to read in front of me would likely have been absolutely mortifying. Thus, I put myself out there.

My students do not seem to have been harmed. In fact, they have reported loving Jen’s talk. One student and I talked about how — for lack of a better word — awake we were when it was over. That student also said that Jen’s talk was the most fun she’d had for months.

For those wanting to see it, it’s streaming now on our page: http://writing.ucdavis.edu/speakerseries

I read at minute 40.

Let it wake you up.

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