First, I should say that my child’s alliance WON! And my child is the captain of his team, which I think makes him an extra winner!

The way they play is by forming alliances–teams of three. Thus, there are six robots on the field in each game. My son’s team’s robot was so dominant that the opposing alliance devoted one whole robot in playing defense against ours–basically just trying to get in our robot’s way in scoring.

Aside from being in the winning alliance, his specific team also won the “Quality” award for the design, etc.

This is made all the more impressive because there were so many amazing teams and amazing bots out there.

Some side observations: there are way too many teenagers out there with 1970s porn mustaches. Someone needs to show them those old porns, so they will understand why the ‘staches are a bad idea.

No one, at the end of the song Macarena, should turn to someone else and say, “What’s that song called” & be serious.

Also, no one should be playing/doing the Macarena where I have to hear/see it. (And that’s not even the worst song they played.)

The boy walked around the whole competition for three days in an overheated room in his trench coat and Indiana Jones hat. When I asked him why a little while ago, he said, “it’s become iconic.”

Now what? Well, they will head to Nationals. They will need to raise $5000 just to enter. They also have to ship the bot to St. Louis. My son, since he’s team captain and driver coach, really should go. It will cost between 1000-1200.

His faculty advisor said to one of the other parents, “but not every family will be able to afford that” and stole a pointed look at me.

Not sure what we’re going to do, but we don’t have to know tonight. We just need to enjoy the Citrus Circuits first ever FIRST victory.

The boy: Mom, where’s the book with the Monty Python scripts?

Me: On the Monty Python shelf.

Later–

The boy: Do we have any white sheets?

Me: How big does it have to be?

The boy: It has to be a blancmange.

On NPR’s Talk of the Nationthis week, they did a show on the public’s perception of single mothers. The show opened with this:

“The American family has changed. The nuclear family in the house across the street is still there, but different kinds of families live on the block, too: unmarried parents, gay parents, people who choose not to have children at all and, of course, single parents.

“A new Pew Research poll asked Americans about these trends and found almost 70 percent believe that single women raising children on their own is bad for society.

“Of course, there is a wide array of single mothers. Some women choose to raise children by themselves. Others find themselves without a partner through divorce or abandonment. But when seven in 10 believe this is bad for society, it makes you wonder.”

I was surprised that the anti-single mother numbers were still so high. As a single mother, I’ve encountered prejudice. However, few people where I live are willing to voice their single mother phobia. Or perhaps since most people who encounter me now meet me as a scholar before knowing that I’m a single mother, they don’t apply the stereotype of the single mother to me.

When my child was young, my friend Miranda said that people’s perception of me would be completely different if they heard her describe my college work before my motherhood. Some people who heard that I was a young mother first basically said Miranda must be lying about what I’d managed to accomplish and the fact that I was a decent/smart person.

As Talk of the Nation noted, not every single mother “chooses” to be one. I know two women who have chosen this as a path. All of the other single mothers I know are single because of abandonment, divorce coupled with social/financial disappearance, their partner’s death, or because the woman had to flee from abuse. Being a single mother isn’t how we expected our lives to turn out, but this is our life and we’re trying to make the best of it and to do the best for our kids, just like everyone else. Thanks for making it harder by demonizing us, America!

Would it be best to have more than one parent? Probably. I think more than two would be ideal–kids are amazingly exhausting. Of course, having one stable parent is better than having two sucky ones, though. The biggest issue for single mothers–the one that “causes” problems for children and society–is money. The children of financially well off single mothers end up doing just as well as their well off peers. Poor children tend to have a hard life no matter how many parents they have. It might be more productive to blame poverty–to blame a lack of access to healthcare and childcare–to blame the fact that single mothers will inevitably suffer from the sex wage gap we maintain in this country. Don’t fight single mothers; fight inequality.

If you still want to blame people, I can’t stop you. I can, however, suggest that you remember that it takes two people to have a child. Now, it’s not a man’s fault if he dies or if a baby is conceived in a way that leaves him out of social and financial responsibilities, but we all know that a majority of single mother are on their own and struggling financially because a man is not living up to his responsibility.

These men get to live without society’s stigma while the women they’ve abandoned take the brunt of it every day. They don’t have to explain to their bosses why they have to take off because a child is ill. They are free to date without having to find a babysitter. They will miss less work because their kids won’t be bringing home every little illness from daycare. They don’t have to worry about finding healthcare for anyone but themselves. They don’t have to worry about a new boyfriend or girlfriend being jealous or not even going for it because they don’t want to be a step-parent. They don’t get called sluts. If they’re up all night, it’s probably because they’re doing something fun, not because someone is throwing up on them or screaming from nightmares.

Some men are single fathers. I’ve known a few. Their ex-wives are absent for a variety of reasons–death, drugs, jail, etc. If the woman’s not dead, she is routinely dismissed by all the world as the most evil thing in the universe–much worse than a man who’s skipping out on his child. The single fathers are praised by all who know them. It is never assumed that they’re single fathers because of some moral failing. Many women find them admirable and attractive–what an obviously wonderful man!

The Pew poll didn’t even ask people about their attitudes towards single fathers. On the show, the pollster explained that it was because the vast majority of single parent households are indeed run by women. But we all know the other reason–single fathers are never seen as a “problem.”

My son’s father left me when I was seventeen, two weeks before I gave birth. We had been engaged, and I honestly didn’t think I’d have to do this by myself. My son is seventeen now. Those of you who know him know how amazing he is. Have I made mistakes? Yes, starting with not thinking I’d have to do this alone. Of course, we haven’t been completely isolated. My grandparents took us home with them for the first few months when we had no where else to go. Many men who have loved me have loved my son too. My friends have been amazing. They have forged my signature on school forms when I was at a conference. They have become his aunts and uncles. They have gone to music recitals with me both to make sure I wasn’t sitting by myself and because they honestly care about my child and want him to know it. Melissa even taught him to ride a bike when he needed it. No one ever raises a child completely alone.

Thus, I don’t deserve your praise, but I don’t deserve your scorn, either. The problem isn’t single mothers, it’s bad parents of either sex and of any marital status. Please be able to tell the difference.

Last week’s episode of The Simpsons, “The Blue and the Gray,” featured Marge getting her first gray hair.

I turned to the boy: “what are they talking about? Marge has been gray as a mule since she was seventeen.”

Luckily, the episode explained that the hair dye Marge uses affects her memory. In this episode, however, Marge decides to go gray.

I found my first gray hair when I was sixteen. Or, to be more precise, Miranda Hoy found my first gray hair while sitting behind me in Spanish class. I discovered it when she yanked it out without warning me first.

I didn’t really worry about it. And then I proceeded to not worry about the other grays that came along. They were few in number and easily camouflaged by the rest of my mane.

Until a few years ago, when they increased in number exponentially. At first, I told myself that they didn’t bother me, and I believed I had earned them. I mean, I had a teenage child and a PhD–surely I had reasons to go a bit gray.

Unfortunately, people started reacting to me the way people started reacting to Marge when she decided to let her real hair color show. That is, people started commented on my bravery–usually people who did not really know me or who had just met me.

That really bothered me for some reason. I’m used to my hair being the first thing that people notice, but I wasn’t ready for my gray to be the first thing that they noticed. I wasn’t ready to be “admired” for letting it show.

There was only one thing to do–dye the very front and top of my head. You see, there’s way too much hair for me to completely cover all the gray–it’s too long and thick. And I hate spending time or money in a hairdresser’s chair, so I do a little root coverage every now and again for the parts that are most visible.

Is there still some gray, then? Yes, but it’s still mostly hidden in the curls. And should you chance to play with my hair and to discover that I have lots of gray in the back, as my lover has, you can ponder what happens when vanity meets impatience.

Florida, I’ve known you since I was a kid. I grew up in your underfunded schools. I started working at age twelve, serving your sunburned tourists. I’ve let you try to blow me away in your hurricanes.

In 2000, I said we should start seeing other people, so I moved to California. You see, when I lived in you, I couldn’t have health insurance for two reasons. First, you abhor unions, so even though I had a job that was unionized in most every other state, you wouldn’t let me. Second, since I didn’t have job-related insurance, you allowed insurers to turn me away due to my pre-existing conditions.

(Also, you were covered in hicks, and they kept trying to touch me.)

Right after I left, there was an election, and I voted absentee. You decided that my vote shouldn’t be counted.

I’ve come back to see you, though–to have your glorious fish and to marvel at your inhabitants, who see absolutely crazy weather changes and somehow deduce that this is proof that there is no global climate change.

Now you’re trying to use the court system to veto something that the majority of Americans still support–the health care bill.

Don’t you want people to live long enough to retire to you? Well, I guess just the rich people–you don’t want any poor people moving there since you have so many of your own poor people already.

Florida, I think it’s time for us to truly part.

Send us your homeless children, so they can be adopted by gay couples, since you would rather they stay homeless.

Tell all those rednecks with confederate flags on their trucks that they’re right–the South will rise again–right now. (In fact, import more of those people from the surrounding states before you go.) And then let them have you.

I might even get a visa so I can visit my family in the “Republic of Republicans-Only Florida,” as long as you can guarantee my safety from political persecution.

Goodbye, Florida. (If you’re wondering, it’s not me, it’s you.)

On Saturday, I had the worst migraine of my life. Migraines have only induced vomiting for me four times; this time I threw up for eight hours.

One moment, I was making calzones and lemon meringue pie, then I was praying to the toilet gods. The boy ran down the stairs, got me water, and turned off the stove.

He then called me several times after the boyfriend took me to the ER, where we did several courses of iv fluids, narcotics, and anti-nausea medicine.

The boyfriend read to me in between bouts of holding my hair.

But that’s not even the end of the love. My friends have all offered their care, as usual. My students, out of pure concern for me, have suggested that I shouldn’t be at work this week (too bad for all of us–I’m there!), and the delightful man who serves me Indian food offered to take me to the hospital if ever I found myself without a ride . . .

Sarah Palin, in defending herself since the Arizona shooting, has done what people people do when defensive–gone on the attack. On Tuesday night, both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert discussed the hypocritical move of saying this event shouldn’t be politicized and then totally blaming liberals for everything, as Palin enacted the double standard of saying rhetoric shouldn’t be taken as an incitement to violence, but then claimed that liberals wouldn’t be happy until they destroyed the country (she said something about bringing America to her knees).

My favorite comment was that “if it weren’t for their [liberals’] double standards, they’d have no standards” on her Hannity appearance.

I didn’t think that woman could incite me to violence, but . . .

I’m not actually motivated to attack, just to start gathering weapons for when her minions eventually come for me. My master’s thesis (and something I’ve been interested in all my adult life) is about how you use words to turn your neighbors into something you can kill–how you can make them an enemy, a traitor, an animal. When you research how rhetoric has been used historically, you do start to see the signs of when the villagers are going to start building a bonfire for the witch.

And while Palin keeps saying everyone’s coming after her, we know that’s not true. She’s on tv all the time. She’s not the lone woman on the outskirts of the village; she’s the powerful woman in the village who keeps deciding who’s a witch and making sure that everyone knows it.

Her comment about liberals having no standards is a way of making them sound like they’re not you–they’re not American, they’re traitors, they can’t be trusted. For example, it can’t be that they want health care because they’re bleeding hearts or because they have pre-existing conditions, but because they hate America and love Stalin and somehow want you to have healthcare so they can join a panel that will send you to your death. And even if they don’t want to kill you, they want healthcare to kill your job!

I’ve seen the villagers who are most likely to attack. Yes, some are just unbalanced. Others, however, are being trained to attack. They are the children of the quiverfull movement; they are the children in Jesus Camp. They are the fringes of the Republican party that is now gaining dominion over the moderates.

They believe–and people like Palin don’t correct them–that this is a “Christian” nation. They believe, like Palin, that liberals have no morals. I know some personally who believe in witches (and I’m not talking about the wiccan next door, but the actual sacrificing your baby in her dark sabbath kind).

They keep being told what Americans are–people like them (that’s how you can say that “Americans” want the repeal of healthcare when all of the studies show this is a minority opinion). I am apparently un-American. I teach at a university. I don’t believe in their god, and  am dedicated to the separation of church and state. I want healthcare for all of my fellow Americans. I have more faith in science than in the Bible in terms of understanding history and things like germ theory.

Once upon a time, they would have called me a heretic and burned me. Or witch. Or accused me of being a Jew. Later, the terms became “radical,” “communist,” “traitor,” and “terrorist.”

We need to be careful when we make everything “us” and “them.”  “Them” never fairs well in that scenario. You shouldn’t have to make me a “them” to vote differently than I do.

I disagree with Palin and those like her, and I may think they’re stupid (or brilliantly mean), but I don’t think they’re un-American. America is my family; like any family, it contains people I don’t agree with, but they’re still family. And just because I disagree with them doesn’t mean I want the destruction of our family unit.

So I don’t like it when I see the fires getting stoked and the words being thrown around that indicate that Americans/people like me are so different/evil that we aren’t even Americans/people.

As many of you know, I don’t have a twitter page, but Denise, social goddess that she is, made one for our book, The Simpsons in the Classroom–you can follow us under Simpsonology. It is through this apparently fabulous entity that we got in contact with some of the heavy hitters at THE SIMPSONS: David Silverman, animator & director; Josh Weinstein, producer & show runner & writer; and Chris Ledesma, music editor. The latter invited us to see a recording of the music for the show if we were ever in LA. This year’s MLA happened to be in LA, so down we went last weekend.

Walking on to the Fox lot, we were nervous. As Denise had explained to our friend Kathy, our excitement was extraordinary because the circumstances were. How many people have loved one thing and been obsessed with one thing, since 1987? How many people then teach it and write about it? How do you expect people to react when they get to meet their obsession after over twenty years? (I think we held ourselves together very well, all things considered.)

Getting our passes from the guard seemed surreal; I think we were both expecting to be turned away, like it was all some sort of mistake, but the passes were given and we set off down a fake street that they use on BONES and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER toward the FUTURAMA trailer to meet up with Josh. Josh used to work on THE SIMPSONS, but now is on FUTURAMA, which Comedy Central will hopefully renew (it’s been really good lately–check it out!). The two nice people in reception were expecting us, and Josh was summoned.

We started with a tour of the Futurama building–his office, the revision room, etc. Josh offered us some Matt Groening doodles that were on post-its in the revision room. Apparently, Groening can’t sit down without doodling something and we now have our own proof of that.

Then Josh took us on a brief tour of relevant parts of the lot. The recording stages in one building are named after three famous Hollywood women–Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, and Marge Simpson. We couldn’t access Marge’s studio because they were doing some dubbing for BONES. “You mean Angel from BUFFY might be in there?” quipped Denise.

The old SIMPSONS‘s building itself looked like a motel–it was small and two stories and all of the rooms were accessible by the outside. When you look straight on to it, you see a fountain with koi (and netting to unsuccessfully keep feral cats out) and bathrooms. Groening’s office is behind a nondescript door to the right of the bathroom doors.

Along the way, we met Ian Maxtone-Graham (who wrote, among other things, “24 Minutes” and who is very tall), Rob LaZebnik (“Homer vs. Dignity”), and Michael Nobori (“To Surveil with Love”). Due to Denise’s description of my love for Weird Al Yankovic, Mr. Nobori has probably banned me from the lot from now on.

Josh then took us for coffee at Moe’s Bar on the lot. We talked about working with his old writing partner, his brief stint on SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, Groening, and the behind the scenes stories of some episodes.

By this time, it was 11; we’d been there for an hour. Josh had to hand us over to Chris, which is where I’ll continue with the next post.

(Relevant pictures are being uploaded to Facebook; I can’t get them to post here . . .)

Day Five started with the boy and I doing a quick tour through the Natural History Museum, one of the most beautiful buildings in the world. Alexander wanted to look at the giant sloths and the dinosaur exhibit. They have an animatronic t-rex that looks really good. When he looks you in the eye, you start to worry for just a second that his legs will move toward you. Alexander was getting video of him and asked me to get him to turn his head and roar. I explained that he wasn’t real, but when I moved, he moved his head to follow me and I got the silliest feeling in my stomach.
We also looked at the Darwin exhibit, which I love because it does not feel the need to mention that one country would find it “controversial.”
Then we had Chinese food, which was good, but took too long, before going to the Petrie. The Petrie museum is a small collection of Egyptian artifacts housed on the University College of London campus. Most things were unearthed in the Victorian era by the Petries. Lots of beads and potteries and two linen dresses that were 5000 years old!
Afzal, who teaches on that campus, then showed us around and bought us coffee.
Then off to Wagamama, the noodle place, before heading into The Rivals. The Rivals is big here because the leads are a famous couple from Of The Manor Born–it’s fun to watch them fight the younger generation and to attempt to placate each other. As it was a Restoration comedy, it was silly in all the right ways, and predictable, but this was an excellent show.
Yesterday, the boy and I were up early to get in line at the National Theatre to get day tickets for Hamlet. It worked (and they were only 10 a piece)! Then we wandered Covent Garden and had lunch so we could go into the afternoon Hamlet full and ready. It was by far the best Hamlet I’ve seen. There was one moment where I felt the timing was off, but the acting and directing was strong. Hamlet’s madness was not annoying, etc.
Then it was off to Pizza Express with Liam and Courtney and then back to their flat to open presents and watch short films.
Today I’m coming down with something, which will taint our last day here a bit, but that’s why it’s important to close this out now, so I can go brace my immune system with a few pints of something.