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St. Valentine’s Day
Feb 14th, 2009 by Dr Karma

So, I don’t have to celebrate this holiday, right?  I mean, I’m not Catholic, so I don’t have to do Saints’ days.  However, Jeopardy! just taught me that some believe this holiday was actually based on a Roman fertility festival.  So if I’m feeling pagan . . .

I’ve never been that into this holiday.  It’s not out of bitterness.  I’ve been partnered for more of them than I’ve been single.  And they’ve all been more or less adequate, as far as these things are supposed to go.  In fact, some of the times when I’ve been single have been better (as I used to have pizza and beer and watch The Hunt for Red October).

I think what mostly turns me off to this holiday is the bullshit expectation in heterosexual circles that this is the day men are supposed to go broke for their mates.  It’s about flowers and candy and cards and sometimes rings, but always about spending money on her (in rather predictable ways).  So, two things:

1.  If this is supposed to be a day about love, women should be contributing.  (And fine, if that means the guy wants a bj for all the money he spent, whatever, but that does bring up how close to prostitution this all is.)  In my perfect world, the couple should be equal, even on v-day.  (That’s why Ken and I bought each other a roomba last year).

2.  While I’m not knocking flowers and candy on v-day, I don’t think it’s the height of romance.  Because a day when that kind of thing is mandated is not about romance.  If your partner is only romantic on v-day and anniversaries, your relationship must suck.

Let me clarify, though.  Romance is not candy and flowers exclusively.  Ken washed my car inside and out this week because I complained about the dust aggravating my allergies.  That’s more romantic than holiday-nazi mandated flowers because the washing indicates that he listens and cares and is willing to take actions to make my life better.

On another note, I feel sucky this Valentine’s Day because I didn’t get out any cards or anything to my friends, though they made me cards and cookies and such.  In fact, am tempted to scan the card MD made because it was hilarious. 

I just hope they know I love them without the cards. 

Speaking of love, The Simpsons premieres in HD tomorrow.  I wonder if I’ll actually be able to tell the difference.

People who should get Valentines this year:

Obama (duh)

George W Bush (I love that you’re not President; many happy returns).

Creationists (I love that you give me something to write about).

Weird Al Yankovic, Eddie Izzard, Colin Firth, and many other crushes.

The forefathers (if only for Free Speech).

Panama City Beach, which Joy Turner on My Name is Earl declared “classy” a few weeks ago.  Hooray for one of my hometowns!

Margaret Atwood, but I already send her birthday cards, and it’s only my affiliation with the Atwood Society that doesn’t make that slightly creepy.

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