Q: Don’t you usually do a “by the numbers” wrap up?
A: I am too discombobulated to count.
Q: So you don’t know how many books, etc.?
A: I read a lot of books, had a few mystery bruises, saw a few plays and some stand-up, went to a wine tasting…
Q: So what’s got you discombobulated?
A: This year has been … a lot. I’m leaving for Europe today, and I’ve never been more behind on my work.
Q: Why?
A: Well, grading takes so much longer now, and my body is being particularly horrible.
Q: Do you have more students or something?
A: No. It’s taking longer because they’re doing so much worse than ever before. It doesn’t take long to grade a great or even adequate paper. They’re saying things in their papers that just aren’t true.
Q: They’re lying?
A: Not intentionally, I think. Part of it is that their reading comprehension is incredibly bad. And some of them aren’t reading at all: AI is summarizing everything for them. Thus, they’re saying things that aren’t true, and they’re saying them badly. People who don’t read can’t write well.
Q: Isn’t that kind of snobby?
A: Could you write a decent scientific literature review if you’d never read one?
Q: Ah…nope!
A: And they’re cheating with AI so much more–so I have to fill out all this extra paperwork. Some admit it right away and apologize, but some maintain their innocence for months and then don’t apologize, even though they both cheated and lied. One was outright rude in class, playing on her tablet with noise cancelling headphones: god forbid my lecture might make it hard to hear her media. I’m not done with my grading for this term, and I haven’t got the Canvas page up for the course that’s starting any minute now. And don’t even ask about the keynote talk I have to do next week.
Q: I’m guessing the stress is aggravating some of your chronic pain.
A: A few weeks ago, I couldn’t chew on my right side because of jaw stuff. After paying almost a thousand in various treatments, I can chew, but it still hurts. I have to have a surgery when I get back for my lumbar spine: they’re going to put a do-hickey in to give me electric shots.
Q: What? A do-hickey?
A: That’s the technical term. And something’s really wrong with my GERD: the acid is affecting my vocal cords. This morning, I haven’t eaten anything, but my GERD thinks I’ve had spicy Indian food while lying down, Roman-style. I’ve had a rib go out…I’ve had nine health care appointments just this week & three pharmacy visits.
Q: Nine?
A: I cancelled one, to make more time to work. My mental health therapy [laughs].
Q: [Laughs] Kind of on the nose for you to put off mental health for work. What good memories will you have of these last four weeks?
A: My son’s hooding ceremony for their Masters, walking in hurricane-y winds with Michael to find a restaurant whose power was on, a Delorean rising in the air on stage in front of me, Meyer lemon margaritas with Rae, getting my certificate in Teaching for Global Learning, an Anarchist Solar Flair Albarino, Luis finding a new favorite thing, Snowball saying “yeah” when I asked her if she wanted me to open the bedroom door so she could yell at me better (I’m not allowed to go upstairs during the day), being interviewed for a news story, my seniors’ stand-up comedy show, having Japanese with Dante to celebrate the end of my gluten tolerance test month, my nephew acting out a scene from a musical while Melissa and I ate dinner, Heather encouraging me to not take it personally that some students aren’t putting the effort in, getting to see a few other friends, the gladioluses (gladioli?), which are in season, peaches and plums from my friends’ trees, a student coming up to me with tears to thank me for an inspirational talk…that last one sounds weird.
Q: Yeah, I little Trumpy.
A: [laughs] Big student, strong student, with tears in her eyes…Speaking of tears, Giles the Watcher died. I’ve had to watch Buffy while doing my packing.
Q: You’re about to get on a plane. Do you have all your medical stuff?
A: The overstuffed backpack has the prescriptions, a back brace, etc. What I’m missing is the results of the month’s second mammogram.
Q: What?!?
A: Oh, yeah. The first mammogram wasn’t “symmetrical,” so something was either wrong with the picture or with lefty here.
Q: Lefty?
A: Selma.
Q: You call them Patty and Selma?
A: [Laughs] Just thought of that now, actually! I’m taking them to see 8 plays in my 5 days in London. Hey, I can count again!
Q: Can we go back to how you’re waiting on mammogram results? That must be part of the discombobulation.
A: No time! The play’s the thing!
Q: That’s about catching the conscience of the king.
A: The play’s the thing to change the consciousness of this queen!
