Me: Where’s the bathroom?
Her: By the bar.
Me: My mother taught me to always pee before an adventure.
Her: That’s a good plan.
[A few minutes later.]
Me: Does the smoke ever bother you?
Hostess: [coughs for a while] I swear on my mom’s life that was real. Can I get you some champagne?
Me: I’m going to get some whiskey at the bar. If one is going to see a Scottish play-inspired piece, one should have Scottish whiskey.
Her: Yes.
[I hear multiple people ask her where the bathroom is.]
Me: You know–it would make your job easier if we hung the head of a traitor here. We could hang a sign on him that says where the bathroom is.
Her: I enjoy you.
[I get called into the performance space.]
Me: I wish you could go with me. Goodbye, dearest partner in greatness!
Her: [taking my hand] Goodbye, whiskey girl!
I also asked the hostess where the bathroom was immediately upon my arrival on scene at Sleep No More. I’d love it if we went back next summer and found that they’d hung the bathroom directional sign over the head of a traitor!